Local Poetry

Diane  By Stephen Corless

Ey, Diane the cleaner's a big un
Gorra backside as big as Bombay
Wi a top set to match, massive Bristols
There's not much con gerr in 'er way

Shi winks utt me when shi passes
An squeezes me too, wi 'er eyes
An then when Ah'm 'avin me dinner
Shi watches me eatin' me pies

Shill come creepin' up when Ah'm workin'
An kiss me, just a swift peck
Keeps rubbin' me arms an 'oldin me 'and
An blowin' downt back o me neck

Aw o' me friends around t'office
Seem oblivious an don't give a damn
It's not like shi does owt wi tuthers
An Ah feel like a targeted man

Ah don't even fancy the woman
The sight of 'er brings me to tears
Burram gooint aft tell 'er t' stop it o' t' work
Since wiv bin married now fifteen years