Handbags   (The sad, the bad and the ugly. Non-productive stuff here.)

We had the police at ours last year, Dougie. My youngest lad's girlfriend caught a middle aged woman letting her dog lay one out on the pavement outside my house. She waded in with "I hope you're taking that with you, you dirty bitch"!
It ended up in a slanging match between the two, with the woman hitting my lad's girlfriend in the face with a plastic bag full of shite before walking off without picking the last lot up.

Two days later, the police arrived. The woman had reported my lad's girlfriend for being abusive. Nothing was said about the dog shitting on the pavement, even though it was still there.
These people are a set of ignorant bastards, but you daren't say owt!