General   (General discussion, talk about anything.)

........ A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest.

After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, "I'm sorry, your duck has passed away."

The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?"
"Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead," replied the vet..

"How can you be so sure about that?" she protested. "I mean you haven't even done any testing on him or anything. For all we know, he might just be in a coma or something."

The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room. He returned a few minutes later with a black Labrador Retriever.
As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from
top to bottom.
He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.

The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room. A few minutes later he returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also
delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room.

The vet looked at the
woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said earlier, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."

The vet turned to his computer, hit a few keys and
produced a bill, which he handed to the woman..

The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill from the vet and read it.
"£450" !!!! she cried, "£450, just to tell me my duck is dead"?

The vet shrugged his shoulders and said, "I'm sorry, madam. If you had just taken my word for it,
the bill would have been £120, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now £450."