Merry Christmas.

My gift to all at WiganWorld


Christmas card selection

Expect complaints.

I very recently landed on 'The Poke' after googlong 'BBC Signing interpreters'.

Dostaf / Mac

All my Scottish mates have sent me a kind message

Type this into Google:

"what defines an english person"

Touched

Golly, Steff. I hope you stabbed the odd one or two as a practical joke.

On the 12th Day of Christmas my Facebook gave to me,
12 dudes I'm blocking,
11 friends just watching,
10 corny topics,
9 busted barbies,
8 friends complaining,
7 stalkers stalking,
6 party invites,
Fiiiiiiiiiiiiive Drama Queeeensssss,
4 game requests,
3 photo tags,
2 friends-a-pokin
& a creep who won't stop inboxing meeeeeeee!!

Apparently

...

I thought I was going mental one Christmas when I didn't get to see Father Christmas at Oxleys. But the americans brought in a Sanity Cluase and saved the day, God Bless Them!

I hope Santa brings me that mistletoe belt I asked for.

I always wanted a sack like Father Christmas's. Due to the weight he carries I believe.

Just think, the old homeless guy who sits outside my local doesn't know what it's like to have a full tummy on Christmas Day.

But he will do this Friday, thanks to me.

I'm gonna go down there and tell him.

Tonkers kids came home from school the other day and asked, 'Daddy, how come the other kids at school leave milk and cookies out for Father Christmas on Christmas Eve, and we leave a chicken vindaloo and 6 cans of Special Brew?

When I was a kid, on Christmas morning my parents used to get the whole family around the piano and my father would stand up with a can of lager and say, "it's about time one of us learned to play this."

In't google naughty.

Is there a vole in yon box?

Could be, it makes a strange noise when walking, tap, tap tap, clump...Tap...

That looks like Brian Conley (in the box)

I thought it was a scene from the Diary of Adrian Vole, aged 13 3/4

IT'S A PUPPET!

Went watching him (Conley) in Manchester about 10 years ago - he was playing Buttons in Cinderella. My lad was one of the kids they got up on stage - wish I had taken the camera.

I tried nicking the pumkin once.

Why, was it an expensive camera?

It was a damn good sketch - shame it wasn't on the telly.

Can you etch it for us, VG?

Not done all my christmas cards. Good thing someone in my family printed off e-mails and addresses and sent them to everyone so I can send e-cards.

On the seventh day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Seven swans a-swimming,
Six geese a-laying,
Five golden rings,
Four calling birds,
Three French hens,
Two turtle doves,
And a partridge in a pear tree.

On the eighth day of Christmas,
I had to build an aviary to keep all the bleedin' birds in.

avery?

There's a picture of that place in Hallgate on 'Album'.
Became that Motorcycle place.

See

Into weighing bird, is it?

Shameful C&P bowt proof reading. Apologies.

Apiareies is for bees.

I know knowledge, me.

Drunken ones, anyway.

"Can I weigh your...........?"

"Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy"

Taxi.

Sexist filth.

Ballanced opiniion.

Been Qauffing with Ollie Reed?
Wish I had.

He ran into a street with tin-foil over his wotsit.

Hellraiser!

Bacofoil actually.

Same effect though.

Expect complaints

That's 'some peoples' Girlfriend, Stuart.

It doesn't mean she's a bad person.

She may enjoy a little light spanking, who knows.

What's the odds?

Spanking Mac?

That is just wrong.

Just because he hasn't done you yet!

The wrongest part about it is the other pair of buttocks who are looking at the beardy one's neck.

What's all that about?

Pair of planks...You will be asking why Lipstick was invented next, and no doubt googling the answer.

Rimmel adverts.

;