When was the last time. you did something

For the first time ?
spurred on by the recent deaths of my friends, I just bought a yacht , a Ocean going twin engined boat,

Is it moored on the Dougie, Tom?

I've not been to collect it yet mollie, At the moment she's moored in the Med and after the bank transfer and registration is complete, I'll arrange transport to Scotmans flash for lessons in navigation and some maritime protocol , I'll be looking for staff to work in the galley, deck maintenance and cabin crew,

Send us a photo when you get it, with you wearing your seafaring outfit.

Will do mollie, I know you are bizzy but, are you looking for part time work as executive tour guide with options to bring your cat along as, 'ships cat' ? I'm also looking for entertainment for the tours so. a bit of singing might work to your advantage in the interviews,

I don't know about being a tour guide, Tom. I never know where I am meself half the time as it is. Unfortunately, singing is no longer possible due to my newly diagnosed condition, so you'll just have to make documentaries of your adventures on the high seas, and post them on here instead.

I like you Tom had a daft moment and bought a flag pole.Only got 4 flags at the moment The Union Flag St George Flag The old Lancashire Flag and the Skull & Crossbones for when the grandkids come

TP....don't forget my Nautical background...Bosuns Whip and Cat'O'9 tails needed to keep the unruly crew in check...

Don’t you go flying the cross and skull bones, Tom. I know it’s not illegal, but you might get into bother with those pirate type personages when you’re on the high seas! Don’t forget your little concertina as well for when you’re entertaining your crew with sea shanties.

Oh, by the way, my little cat is all black, so she may not bring you good luck.

BB reet you're my communications engineer and crew supervisor, We'll discuss salary at the Quayside, I've also acquired a radio transmitter that you will like



Mollie, I'll be flying my own flags in this order

Tom, I'm sure me dad had a transmitter something like that back in the 60s. It would have been at least as old as that, and he was a "radio ham" at the time, transmitting, and chatting, with folk all over the world. He was also a radio and TV repair man so knew how to fix things when they needed a new valve.

Me mam shoved him and all his tranklements in the outhouse, but put a bit of carpet down for him, and a little electric fire, poor owd bugger.

Mollie that transmitter would be more suitable in the collections thread because, It is a Marconi radio receiver and was fitted to WW2 Planes and one being the Lancaster bomber. Plessey also produced them and, they weigh a ton and today, A mobile phone would probably do its job better and be less heavy but, would not have its character and history, You would not think twice at skipping a mobile phone but, that Bad boy deserves a place in a museum to be worshipped and admired along with the folks who operated it and kept this country free from the German invasion

Oh right. Well, it did look something like that. As I recall it now, it did have the old radio bands on it and a big wheel at the front. That would have been a museum piece today too.

Anyway, when your yacht is out to sea, don't forget to splice the main brace and sail her into the wind. POSH. Port Out, Starboard Home. That's very important to remember, and don't go keel-hauling Mr Biker if he communicates with an enemy submarine!

And the most important rule is, Don't break out the rum before the sun is over the the Yard Arm,,,

Indeed. Only on or after two bells (9 p.m.).

I'm planning on doing a weekend , Walking the plank survival classes whilst we're still docked in the Poolstock boat yard and for the none swimmers, Bungie jumping from the crows nest, Prizes will be,
3 rd prize, a bottle of shampoo
2nd prize, a week of Tonkers rude jokes on whatapps
1st Prize, Fee tickets to the Maiden voyage on toms yacht 2024

Hope you win first prize, Tom. Well ..... you'll have to, being as it's your yacht and you'll have to steer it!

Just had conformation from the salesroom, The Yacht's ownership is now officially mine and the agency is arranging for it to be transported to the boating yard at Poolstock, ETA is Monday and I'll be making a video of the arrival and the initial trials on the lake, I don't think I'll be able to sleep tonight because I'm so excited,,,

I bought the first round a few month ago

Bloody Hell Handsome, I missed that event, Let me know next time

Tom, I’d be exciticated as well.

Just for a little moment, and I’m being serious, just for second.

I’d like to tell you of my "seafaring" days aboard the 60ft twin-engine boat named Helen. In the 60s, Helen was moored at Tarleton and she was owned by my dad’s boss at work. A beautiful boat, who had seen some sort of action during WWII, so she was an old lady, but in excellent condition.

My dad and I used to go to Tarleton every Sunday and dad helped “Skipper” maintaining and cleaning the engines, and do other things as well, whilst I just pottered about in the Galley making cups of tea and butties.

One day I asked if I could have a drive and, foolishly, Skipper allowed me into the wheelhouse but, didn’t tell me which way to turn the wheel to keep straight. I steered the boat into some reeds, which they both felt, and came hurtling in to put it right. There was no damage and, luckily, I didn’t hit any passing boats. I wasn’t allowed in the wheelhouse again. I was only about 14 at the time though.

Thanks for that confession Mollie and remind me again when we get on board bound for the open seas, I'd hate to ask BB to give you a good lashing with his Cat o nine,,,,,

He wouldn't do that to a little owd woman, would he?

Nah, he'd want to make sure I don't go overboard if a big wave hits. He'd be very kindlyful to me.

Naa. I don't think he would Mollie and. if he did, You n Me would Keel haul him and I fit some extra sharp barnacles on the hull.

No, couldn't do that. We'd have to clap him in irons and throw him into the brig.

Good thinking Mollie and you could let your cat do what he. wanted that dog to do for a biscuit,

After watching the programmes about the super yacht that sank at Sicily and what happened at a Fastnet Race as a result of more vicious storms being caused by climate change, I would be very wary of buying any sea going yacht.

Like the designer of the Titanic, the designer of the yacht also claimed it was unsinkable!

Better as far as I am concen just to buy a small cabin type boat which can go on canals, rivers and coastal waters!

Owd Codger, this is just a joke thread by Tom. He's not really buying an ocean going yacht.

Yo-ho-ho me hearties. Tom, one thing I forgot to mention, when you climb up the crow's nest, don't forget to take your telescope with you, otherwise you'll have to go all the way back down again and you'll try to send me up instead, and I can't manage it these days.

Tom when you launch your boat I hope you are going to fit it with solar panels even though its a yacht.We cannot have you polluting the air with a nasty engine

Tom when you launch your boat I hope you are going to fit it with solar panels even though its a yacht.We cannot have you polluting the air with a nasty engine

That's a good thought, Peter. Hope it's not that nasty diesel, so I hope you'll be using "green" fuel and be environmentally friendly.

Oh ye of little faith, the ocean going yacht is real and you will gasp in amazement when I make the video of it being lowered into the water from the low loader due in tomorrow and,,,If that is not amazing enough, today I have done a deal with the Ellesmere Port authority to buy a decommissioned fire boat to add to my fleet,
watch this space,

Oh yea? I thought it was still moored in the Med so who's going to drive it to good Old Blighty?

Its been on the move for a few days mollie and due here tomorrow though, with the weather turning nasty , I won't be surprised for delays, , The fire boat deal was only done today so, the paperwork might be a little bit complex due to Ango/scouse interpretations but, It will come real,
Thee just watch,,

About 8 years ago, me and my mate bought a Rinker 342 Fiesta Vee, cheap due to damaged z-drive, as the owner was trying to save himself from bankruptcy. We discovered it’s engines used 22 gallons an hour.. We didn’t keep it long. A yacht is for people with deep pockets!

I'll sit up and pay attention, and await its arrival with bated breath.

By the way, what's the name of the boat, and where is it registered?

Mollie it will be registered in Panama and have a name like Staying at Wome

There' a job for the Members of WW, We name this ship ----------- God bless all who sail in her,

We name this ship, Buggerlugs!

Buggerlugs is good,
Pewwwww what a day I have had, I've been running around like a blue bummed fly, The lowloader arrived today and wanted so many detailed documents from me, I.D NHS number,Licence number bla bla bla so. I got a letter from God which said,
God in Heaven
top of hill
Behind Pearly gates,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Dear Wagon driver,
Drop the god damned boat where tom says or else, I'll strike tee down faster than a small whiskey.

.........................................................................................savy ?

That did the trick and the boat is now docked and ready for a maiden voyage ,

Beautiful. When do we set sail? By the way, the name of your ship's full title is TSS (Tom's Sailing Ship) Buggerlugs.

The other reason that I've been busy is because, I had to go the Ellesmere Port to overlook the transportation of my newly acquired fire boat, The fire boat needs some restoration work before launching so, I'll be looking for ship wrights and engine room engineers to get the craft in sea worthy condition , Also, we're going to need a name for her as well, Thats your job Mollie,

Will do, but I'll have to see her before I can come up with an appropriate name.

If you keep on with your fleet you'll be as rich as Onassis in no time.

I'll post more pics and do a video as I start work on the restoration,

That's an RAF fire boat. Are you sure you're allowed to sail it without the RAF's permission? Don't go getting yourself into deep waters.

Oh, and make sure it's been de-commissioned as well before you do owt else to it.

Its been checked out for torpedos , munitions and dark skinned folks hanging on the hull, All clear,

I was getting a bit worried letting you loose on a boat with torpedoes It wouldn't be good for you to go firing at Will, whoever that poor sod is!

I know what you mean Mollie, Michael Cain shouted, " fire at Will" when the natives of Africa wanted him to go home. He won the battle but, lost the war,

“ William Hickey meets Michael Caine,
again and again and again and again “!

Many years ago I bought a boat like on the 1st photo. It was powered by batteries I think it was 8 batteries for the boat plus 4 batteries for the remote control. We used to sail it on the 3 sisters lake. I think its on a shelf at the lads house gathering dust

Peter:

You should get your boat out of your lad's house and get it dusted down. They're really beautiful so display it.

You hear “fire at Will” in lots of fillums. I wonder how many Wills have been fire at, and where do they get all those volunteers named Will?

Anyway, I name this gunboat, The Rum Bugger, sister ship to Buggerlugs, and is licenced to carry a consignment of the finest Jamaican rum, only to be partaken of when outside of British waters, and doing the hornpipe. Ya’ll be three sheets to’t wind in no time at all with all’t other Jolly Jack Tars.

My mother and dad bought me a yacht and what fun I had as a kid sailing across the lake in our local park.

I remember has a kid going to my grandparents house in Gosport for a holiday and on Sundays going into town and watching men racing model yachts on a purpose built rectangular lake

Ha Ha that must be the makings of a best seller with Richard Burton and Elizabeth Taylor. You have made my night

There is no better place to be on a weekend night Chris. d, take your shoes off, sit a spell and enjoy

Darned straight, Tom.

Chris: I like the idea of the story being written in a book or, better still, a film.

Oi, Captain Pugwash, when are you going to weigh anchor and start Buggerlugs's maiden voyage? I've been waiting for the invitation to come aboard for drinks and a bit of nibbling kit!

as it happens Mollie, we went on a maiden voyage today,, I've got footage of it but, I'm struggling with editing the clips,
I'll try harder and get back as soon as i can,

I ran into a spot of bover, My props got tangled in a fishing wire and I got imbedded in a low hanging tree, Luckily 2 fishermen saved the day, one of them dived in and freed the boat , I'm gonna buy those guys a drink, because today was pigging freezin', Top men,
Watch this space for the video

Without little old me? I've bin with ye through thick and thin, and you treat me like a scurvy knave. There'll be mutiny I tell ye, mutiny on the high seas!

As for the ' rum bugger' I've now got the engine room sorted with the V8 engine serviced and ready for action, the steering mechanism is working and the navigations systems are connected to GPS, I've just got to sort out the running lights, blues and two's and the hose pipe configurations,
You will need to sort the Galley out mollie, I'm hopeless in that dept.

Okay, I've bin demoted and reduced to tea lady, so I'll see what I can do in the galley.

I'm sorry about you not being there Mollie, It was a spontaneous moment and I went out ' brass necked' and, Although you might have enjoyed the fishermen stripping off to free the boat, it was cold and rainy and I'll make it up for the launch of ' Rum Bugger'

Rum Bugger's just an owd battle ship. I wanted to be posh on the yacht and be invited to Captain's table for dinner!

Oh, while I'm thinking on. You did get rid of those depth chargers off Rum Bugger, didn't ya? Ya've not squirreled a couple away in case your sonar picks up a submarine?

Rum Bugger is an owd character and will light up the ponds and lakes of the boating fraternity when she is launched, Many will flock over to see the ole tub once again grace the waters of Britannia. Me and thee will be there to embrace the occasion take a bow on the stern or, the pointy end to celebrate the event,

The pointy end is called the bow, the blunt end is called the stern, so we'll take a bow, at the bow.

Are you sure you're a trained seafarer?

oh right,,,,,, I need to look things up,,,

Have you had a few nips o' rum when't sun went over't yardarm?

Ickle soon be time to hit the hammock.

The Maiden voyage of Buggerlugs. She was handling well until she got fishing line that was snagged in a tree, So when I tried to get out the props just wound it tighter round the prop shafts and it dragged here ito the overhanging branches, Luckily a couple of fishermen helped me get it out,
Re-trials to take place shortly, Then Mollie can drive, I'll make the tea in the gally
sea trials of Bugger lugs

Poor owd Buggerlugs. As soon as she hit the water you put her into full steam ahead, instead of letting her get used to the water first and starting her off gently, then building up speed. It was like you starting your car engine, then ramming it straight into fourth gear making your tyres screech!

Did you not think of putting her into slow astern to unwind the prop shaft from the branches, or, better still, get yer frog suit on and get into't watter to free it?

Back to Naval Academy for you me lad.

Aye Aye Skipper

Innit funny how nature comes to help, I've been wiring up the accessories in the fire boat, I've installed, blue lights, search lights, a siren and fire hoses to port and starboard and was hesitant to go to the fishing line infested boating lake so. Nature shined on me today and turned my back garden into a lake, what a wonderful thing to do, thank you nature, I was able to test All the controls and glad to report, The fire boat is working 100% and ready to join the international rescue team as soon as my Skipper is available and get get time off from the office and don her Cap't uniform ( I hope I used the aposptole thingy right ) and haul Anchor for open waters

Ya daft bat, and it's Capt. Never you mind about apostrophes.

Now then, you didn't mention if the radio works. That's the most important thing of all. It's no use having pretty blue lights, or fire hoses if we need to make a Mayday call, especially if we come across some U-Boats in the mid-Atlantic! Also, make sure the Morse code clicky thing works as well. You do know how to read Morse code, don't you?

Get that done, and we can be on our way.

Reet then,Its back to the nautical college for me then and, I've got a couple of morse videos, I like John thaw , I'll get back when I find out where May day lives, I know May West if thats any good, She said to me, " hey tom is that a Billy club in your pocket or, are you glad to see me " I've never figured that out but, She seemed a nice lady

Good man!