Photo-a-Day  (Saturday, 2nd April, 2022)

I thought the article may be of interest, I wrote it for The Wigan Observer recently.
From Wigan to The Wirral.

Tom Walsh.

I wasn't sure how to start this article and I choose to use the headline above to start the story.
The topic isn't the easiest to address - the difference between funerals now and years gone by.

How I came to write this story starts with the headline. Late last year purely by chance in conversation it transpired that a chair that sits in a home on The Wirral started life in Wigan . The family always refer to the chair as ' The Chairman's Chair ' the chairman of what ? A Burial Society ,in fact The Union Street Society, it meet in 'The Prince of Wales' situated on Wellington Street, Scholes . When the pub closed it went with with the Licensees Mr,&Mrs Brett to their new home in Yates Grove Beech Hill, then to Hoylake on their passing it went to the home of their daughter Winifred and son-in-law Kevin also on the Wirral where it remains to this day.

The particular Burial Society (Union Street) was one of many in Wigan and in fact most towns throughout the country. A group would form, predominantly in working class localities with the view to helping bereaved families of members of the society. A weekly payment would be paid for each person enrolled, on death a payment would be paid to help with funeral expenses.

In the past most people from poorer families would be buried in unmarked graves, often called common graves or paupers graves; the very name would bring shame on a family ,and many would go without all their lives to be able to buy a grave . A story I heard more than once, a lady from Scholes when her husband died she wanted to buy a grave so that in time she could be buried with him. The woman sold her wedding ring to help fund the purchase, from that day she wore a brass curtain ring in its stead; I also heard about families needing to borrow clothes for the funeral such was the grinding poverty during the 1930s .These things happened before I was born but I'm quite sure these stories typified the hardships people suffered during those dark days, felt especially at times of losing a loved one .

For the vast majority buying a plot wasn't an option they had a job to keep body and soul together without fretting about funerals, this was were the local burial societies would come into their own and by and large they provided a great help in times of need .

The very title [Burial society] seems archaic today as the vast majority of funerals nowadays are cremations . Not so in the recent past , a fact the will surprise many - Wigan Crematorium was only opened in 1955, converted from a old chapel. Before that date cremations would have to travel Liverpool . In 1954 Bolton opened Overdale Crematorium I imagine people would opt for the shorter journey for that 12 month period.

The Roman Catholic Church only permitted cremations in May 1963 this lead to a vast increase in people choosing cremation . Other thing have altered greatly for instance before 1961 there were no Chapels of Rest in Wigan families would invariably have the coffin in their homes.
It may seem macabre to young people today but as late as the 1960s it was common practice .

This tradition was carried on in my family until quite recently along with other families, like mine, descendants from The Irish Diaspora. As a young man I remember attending traditional wakes, saying 'The Holy Rosary' at midnight ; it was a very emotional experience something that stays with you, although strangely not in a sad way; collective prayer seems to bring comfort in times of sorrow . The mood during such nights was surprisingly light hearted ,taking about old times ;until the break of dawn when the atmosphere changed dramatically to one of anguish and sadness.

Many particularly from Irish backgrounds still prefer to have their loved ones at home at least for eve of the funeral . Speaking of Irish funerals , these days the reception after a funeral is often called ' A Wake ' this is really a misnomer, the original Irish wake originally meant a ‘watch’, ‘vigil’ or ‘guard’. It was used to refer to a prayer vigil, usually held late at night or overnight, where mourners would keep watch over their dead until the the morning .A wake often included prayers and the comforting of relatives, as well as a chance to see and pay respect to the person one last time.
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Some wakes would also include sustenance and perhaps a tipple ,after the prayers were said . The clocks in the house would be stopped at the time of death, it was a sign of respect for the deceased. Most often, all mirrors would be turned around or covered. Candles would be lit and placed around the deceased The Holy Rosary would be said at midnight and most visitors would then leave. Those closest to the family would remain throughout the night. Although the exact reasons behind the traditional Irish wake may have been lost or clouded, the emotions involved have not changed much over the years. A wake is no longer about ensuring that the deceased does not revive, but instead about the healing process for family and friends left behind.

Other traditions that have faded - drawing curtains of the house of the deceased, the curtains would be closed from the moment of death till after the funeral ,the rest of the street would do so on the day of the funeral; failing to do so would be considered a mark of disrespect. Wireless and later television would never be turned off during the period of mourning ; it would be tantamount to sacrilege if a close member of the family went to 'the pictures' or God forbid 'a dance hall, !

I can remember vividly when a someone died in my parish 2 woman would be commandeered to collect from the neighbourhood they would say they were collecting for Mr or Mrs such a body .
They always used a handbag they would open for donations and would turn their heads away so as not embarrass if some only had coppers they could spare. The wreath purchased would have a a ribbon saying 'From the Neighbours ' I don't think you would see that very often these days !

Back to 'The Chair ' (what tales it could tell) Kevin Kearns in whose home the chair now resides sent me a photograph and a copies of the accounts and the rule book, I'm greatly indebted to him for all his help. They make fascinating reading . In 1939 the account show a balance of £505-14-1 Incredibly over £34,000 in today's value. 'The Rule Book ' is even more interesting ,the society was founded in 1834 , the cover of the book contains 2 verses from scripture- ' Devout men carried Stephen to his burial '-Acts -viii ,v 2 and 'let all things be done decently and in order' -Cor xiv, v 6. These verses enshrine exactly why the society was founded .It would take page upon page to do justice to the contents. However two rules jumps out -

Rule 13 - That no person will be admitted a member of the society unless whole of his or her family are in good health at the time of his or her entry and such persons should not be more than 45 years of age ; and should there appear to be any defraud on an at attempt to conceal any family disorder, such member shown upon due proof thereof have been excluded.

Rule 28 That no female should be allowed to hold office in this society but any females heads of of families will be allowed to vote and to address the President the same as any other member of the society. The content of the book is so all encompassing, a Philadelphia Lawyer would struggle to find any loophole.

It was vital to enrol new members to replenish the coffers to keep the society financially sound.
Committee member would be expected to recruit new members ( presumably those looking in good health mindful of rule 13 ). While doing research for this story I came across the article on Wigan World regarding The Burial Society that held its meeting at The King William (King Billy) in Platt Bridge ,the piece reads ---

My parents had their wedding reception there (King William)in March 1945. They were married at St Peter's in Newton le Willows as Mums was living there at the time and Dad was still in the Army. During the evening there was a knock on the door (of the club room where the wedding reception was being held )which heralded a visit by two men asking for Mum by her new married name. She went to door and found they had been sent to ask her if the newly-weds wanted to join the local burial society! After this excitement they had to walk over two miles to spend the night at my grandma's in Abram.

It may be my suspicious mind but I wonder if they got commission for every new member they managed to recruit , just a thought !

Thank

It's spread massively since my parents died.
That's where I'll be joining them...

I have never been in Gidlow Cemetery. Can you get to it down a path just past The Boar's Head in Standish? I think there is a sign post there pointing the way to a cemetery but not sure if it's Gidlow. I don't know if this tale is true but I once heard of two ladies chatting in the queue at The Muffin Man pie-shop about where they were going to be buried. One lady said she was going to be buried in Gidlow Cemetery where all her friends and neighbours were, but the other lady said she was being buried in Ince Cemetery, whereupon the first lady said, "But tha'll not know anybody!".

Tom,what fantastic reading, some of which I remember..my Grandma was Irish and was the local lady that attended to a person that had died,I recall a box that she had which included a piece of Irish linen to place over the dead persons face,plus the penny that was placed over the dead persons eyes and a crucifix...she also acted as the local midwife..when my parents were first married they lived at my Grandparents and my Grandma had just come back from a birthing,she placed a small box on the stairs,my ?Mam who was shoe mad wanted to have a look at these 'shoes' my Grandma kept say don't touch,but of course at the end of my Mam pleading my Grandma said that it was a stillborn and she would go later to the cemetery to find a paupers grave and place the little one in it..but I thought Gidlow cemetery was only opened in 1948 so did my Grandma go to Ince cemetery,if so that was quite a journey for her wasn't it.
In answer to your question Irene yes that's correct,my lad took me on Mother's Day and it just looked like the M6..apart from that it's a lovely place to just go to visit..it's very peaceful

Funerals are perhaps less solemn now . In those sentimental Victorian times a widow had to ' be seen ' to be grieving in bombazine black for at least two years , and any form of humour would have seemed very disrespectful , if not downright wicked .
Today , it's not unusual for a funny story to be told in a eulogy .

Mel Blanc's epitaph " That's all folks!", always makes me smile .

Dennis,have you any relatives with the names Malcom or John.

Dennis - there are a number of websites where folk can search for an image of a family grave. Most are on genealogy websites, for which you need to pay a subscription. One free one is Find A Grave - it has very good coverage of war graves at home and abroad, using a now-defunct dedicated database set up to record them. When I complete my records of 'Additions to Gravestones' for the Imperial War Museum's War Memorial Register I attach images I've taken of family commemorations in churchyards etc to the FAG site. I often get thanks from family members for doing so.
Last year the Church of England announced a project to record every grave in 19,000 churchyards - using laser and GPS equipment to measure and record headstones for a free website to be launched this year. From my experience it won't cover all the headstones there are - so many are laid face-down on the ground, obscured by vegetation, or the inscriptions are illegible or unreadable (some granite stones have perfectly formed inscriptions - but can only be read for a few minutes a day when the sun hits it at a certain angle).

Irene, as you come past Boars Head, the first turning in the left is access to Gidlow cemetery. Take the route to the left as the one on the right takes you to where Gidlow Coal wash once stood. You can drive down in the car and you'll see a monument business just on the left, and as Veronica says, it's a big place. I personally intend to be planted in St Wilfrids in Standish.

How about Spike Milligan Poet, “I told you I was ill !”
Or, this little poem
I’ve lived my life upon the dole
And now I’m lying in this hole
All around lie real “Go-getters”
For all their toil they fared no better.

Maureen, I don’t recall any close relatives with those names but Seddon is a fairly common name in Lancashire.

I haven't been up here for a few years having to rely on relatives to take me these days. But it is comforting to know my parents are near neighbour's. I loved to walk amongst the graves to see many neighbours from St Pat's and Scholes.
I recall many of the tradition Tom and Maureen mention. Drawn curtains and collections and especially the pennies on the eyes of the deceased. A bit scary to a child though.

I remember going to 'The way we were'..there was a make believe parlour with a coffin on a bier and of course a dummy placed inside..but what struck me was how everybody was speaking in a whisper and saying " God bless you love" to him as they went out it seemed so real.

I find it very peaceful there when I visit my Dads grave.

Excellent read Tom , you provide so much detail for the present and future generations to hopefully read and understand . I didn’t know that about cremations within the Catholic Church . As I Catholic , it was always instilled in me that we should be buried . I’m sure others will have their own views and experience . I was also taught that if you had committed a sin, you could not receive Holy Communion until you had been to confession first . Now people go to Holy Communion. whatever . Thanks Tom, your reads are just packed with detailed information and are a joy to read .

Standisher - unless there's a family grave for you to be laid to rest in, you might struggle to get a space at St Wilf's. There were 90 spaces left about four years ago - and there are about 20 burials a year....

Excellent read Tom , you provide so much detail for the present and future generations to hopefully read and understand . I didn’t know that about cremations within the Catholic Church . As I Catholic , it was always instilled in me that we should be buried . I’m sure others will have their own views and experience . I was also taught that if you had committed a sin, you could not receive Holy Communion until you had been to confession first . Now people go to Holy Communion. whatever . Thanks Tom, your reads are just packed with detailed information and are a joy to read .

Our family grave in St.Wilf's is full , but I'm going in , in a plant pot plonked under a tree with the Shakespearian style curse inscribed on it , ' blest be the man who nods and passes and cursed be he who moves my ashes '.

Dennis,..if your late family members were interred in Gidlow cemetery between the years of 1948 up until 2013, then I would imagine that their grave sites should be traceable by simply visiting the Gidlow cemetery records site.

Unless you've already unsuccessfully explored this avenue of course.

The grave site is segregated firstly by religious denomination and area section, followed by row, then finally by grave number.

It only then remains necessary to provide the name of the deceased.

I had a quick look earlier on and there are at least 50 Seddons in there... 51 in fact if my count is correct.

Always assuming of course that it's the name Seddon that you're searching for.

As soon as I got there Ozy, I realized that I had gone about it the wrong way. I had no idea that the place was so big! I’ll be better prepared next time I go.
Thanks for the information.

Dennis - Ozy is correct I got loads of information about my ancestors on the burial records on this site. Even who was buried in the same graves.

Whilst on the subject of departure from this mortal coil Veebs.....

I do recall mentioning this a while back, but since the opportunity now presents itself, this may be a good time to reiterate,....that when my time comes, and the way things appear to be shaping up globally, that time may not be too far distant..., I would like my remains to be scattered in DTease's back garden.

You may recall that at the time, I did also make it clear that I have no desire to be cremated.

I do hope that you are able to be present for the occasion.

I've left twenty five quid, an unopened pack of Spangles Olde Englsh Flavour that I've been saving since the late 50s, a couple of banana flavoured Penny Arrows, and a wad of McDonald's vouchers, printed on the backs of bus tickets, behind the bar of The Moorgate, to cover the cost of the knees up at the wake,..... and what's more, ..you can have first dibs on which bit of me to scatter.

Oh!....and DTease can have my AGA....I may quite possibly have mentioned my AGA on a previous occasion.

I think me and Dtease should draw lots for the Aga Ozy. Also I don't think he digs over his garden, so it will be the first time for scattering the ashes. Perhaps he might take up gardening and grow spuds and cabbage . But not for a good while yesterday surely. I think you will be ok in the shelter.. good luck anyway, somebody might get Putin between the eyeballs yet.

I think the graves of the relatives you are showing would not be happy I an glad my parents are not in the section you photographed