Happun it's about linking time for ...

puns and links (absurd I know) to have a thread of their very own.

Everyone is very welcome.

EDIT

FOR THE MESTER (Purple Paw);

8 April 2010




CLICK THE PIC






Here we go then:-

Why not jo anne sounds like a good eye deer

Perhaps you could explain how to produce links.

.

Hyperlinks

Copy and paste the http address of the page you want to link to:

http://www.wiganworld.co.uk/stuff/poetry.php?opt=poetry

Immediately before it type: [url=

Immediately after it type: ]

Give your link a title: Local Poetry

Then close with: [/url]

No spaces in between -
as for the Wigan Times example below your post as you type.

Local Poetry

Sew that's how it's done.

It may seam tricky at first, but when you get the hang of it, it is not (hopefully).

Though I still make mistakes.

Cud it catch on?

Plenty do use hyperlinks on ww already, Dostaf.

Two words for your twenty two link jo anne.

There was a rhyme so no reason for your tease on your last post, Dostaf.

Tease she says, tease

I wasn't the one speaking in riddles.

Here's a riddle:

Even though there's no snow - not deep or crisp or even in Wigan, there's still some on Wiganworld.

A link about puns:

Many see puns as cheap humour, one-liners, or groaners ...

Others, like the writer Jonathan Swift, see them as a challenging art form :

'Punning is an art of harmonious jingling upon words which, passing in at the ears, excites a titillary motion in those parts;
and this, being conveyed by the animal spirits into the muscles of the face, raises the cockles of the heart.'

*A challenge to ww'ers to make a pun about links.*

But wheer d'you nick the pictures from?

I browse the web, using search engines like google, pick an image and then borrow the one I toes.

Duff first link jo anne.

Have some of mine.

Where did you pluck those from, Dostaf?

Many might raise one if you sported number 4.

Any road, Dostaf - how doh you call my link a duff.

Fairynuff missus. I'll call it a dud.

Titter ye not, Dostaf.

Haha! A dud indeed. Fear ye not - there's Moore where that came from.

Mono brow?

This star mon's features were a running joke here.

Sattire is not a major constellation, but can be a start

- such high profile people give trail blazing programme makers of our telly, scope to comment and entertain.

On t'other hand, a sitar is a major consolation prize. Or even a minor one.

I'm sat 'ere, wondering what to link and which way to pun.

I'm of a mind to make light work of it and make this my post, even if it's not that prized or sparkling, no cutting remarks, please.

(It might not be treasured, but hope you don't think it's dire mind you.)

I wouldn't make cutting remarks to such as you jo anne.

Being a diamond geezer myself, I know a jewel when I see one.

Let us pledge to always polish our puns and links.

I'm sure there wood bee awarm welcome to all andsundry.

Hide be nervis if the bumble bee was angry, Dostaf.

It does appear to be, if not a swarm, friendly at least.

Hey all and Sundried are welcome every day.

Don't fret about the furry little ince sects jo anne, they're quite harmless and generally somewhat accommodating.

My Hans are up! Knowing bees were quite harmless in summer made me feel quite happy. I love them as they go about their buzziness, but don't forget some are still wary and find them scary.

Toe nee Robinson's great on Time Teem.

Meteorology and M*A*P*

Archaeology and astronomy ... both unearth great findings from the black - adder bit of Basil and thyme, but sagely do not go bananas or there is a recipe for disaster.

Flipping eck jo anne, with all these maps and charts and desert islands, no wonder it all ended up herbal.

For good elf, I recommend this herbal remedy, Dostaf.

Ah, the cup that cheers as samovar Russian friends say.

So here's a toast to your good health.

Cheers, Dostaf.

Butt brrr! Sunbathing magazines! Where are the trunks on the cover?
It's a nesbit chilly here - time to wrap up and keep snug, warm and cosy or you're Russian to catch a cold - you'd be bond to.


Then it will be Bless you or gesunderheit, Dostaf ... goes-a-good-height (10th Dec 22:26) is more apt.

I shawl rap-up well during the inclement weather.

I hope you don't think it rudolph me, Dostaf, but I shall present you with a more suitable woolly jumper.

Who stole me wrap. I don't wear fur actually.

I'll stick to me cardigans and jerseys. (aaaw)

Sorry to be a pest, Dostaf - not stealing, just borrowing.

Wot no fur? Even at Christmas?

Now now,
I'm not all fur coat and no nickers.

I'll be brief ... No one wants to cop an

A neye full missus?

My briefs will spare your blushes.

You art cheeky but my face has not turned rouge, Dostaf.

I am frowning though ... Briefs?! Have you had a brush with the law?

A brush with the law?
Me?

No way. I meant pants , not solicitors.

All's well that ends well.

Glad it's only pants and you are law-abiding, Dostaf.

I always try to keep my nose clean jo anne. Honest.

Don't blow it.

Wot no post, Dostaf?!
We'll never make a ww record in time for Christmas.

So how about bands / song title puns *related to Christmas?

The wise MEN arena presents:
The Kings of Noel (they're starring tonight).

*There's three brothers and their cousin in the group.

Apple ogies for the tardy post jo anne.

Festive thinking caps on then.

I'm so relieved you've turned up dostaf. I was asking jo anne if she'd seen you.

Bennie!

(He seems to be his usual self - being v cheeky over on the General Board.)

Jo anne I thought I'd have a nosey in here and that's the er truth.

Thank you kind people.

A linkless post jo anne? Not like you.

Bennie, pull up a bracket and link away. But beware, jo anne's system can't see certain stuff. Was it webshots images jo anne?

Aye, Happun!

I think so, Dostaf.

I've been ferreting around for a link, Tonker.
Seth used a gun, as it happuns.

Was he a gamekeeper?

He was a Very Nice Man!

And a team player, no doubt.

Here's another Link.

I'm impressed with that well forged link, Tonker.

You're milking Seth's real name there, Dostaf.

Fools "rush" in where angelis fear to tread. (Or three tread in this case.)

Tanks, Dostaf.

Will Young ones sing :

I Wish It Christmas Eve Right Now.

***
Pun Link

Christmas may be coming but sadly it's not only the goose that's getting fat.

Is it time for Christmas trimmings?

Yes indeed jo anne

My yuletide six pack has more of a resemblance to this and this.

Perhaps one less of these on the 25th will help.

Or playing this game to pass the time, instead of indulging in Christmas treats and delights?

(My cheeky children like that game.)

Christmas Song

Men behaving gladly, Franny!

I got the full collection as a birthday pressie Jo anne and that clip always tickles me. Its where Tony starts singing in a low voice and moving his head. Cracks me up everytime!

Men Behaving Badly was v funny. Franny.

Has everyone seen Brian's news?

"Next year will see wiganworld go from strength to strength.

Another new version is under way - no more blue links. There won't be red links either. You'll have to wait and see. ;) "

It's hard enough waiting for Christmas!

I hope fiddling with blue links is a wise move.

Googling images for "blue" was interesting.

I'll leave it to the experts, Dostaf.

(A blue violin can help with testing websites.)

Yehudi better leave it to them jo anne.

If you think theres any tampering aloft tonight, it's probably only this clever feller.

(There will be others out on the tiles in Wigan tonight, Dostaf.)

... Listen carefully and you may hear a jingle of bells.

It is fair-if we leave a mince pie and glass of sherry for the magic man.

And rudolph us to forget a carrot.

I trust you had a joyful noel. With a good feed and all that jazz.

It was awreet, thanks, Dostaf.
I hope you enjoyed the day.

No turkey, just a Yorkshire pudding (they're easymeat!) and vegetables , but we were still full to bursting - luckily no truss required - we are careful with our colons, etc. full stop.

My youngest sent an email:

im so happy I could burst

Happily she didn't.

No jazz, but the children singing Busted with mic and PS2 Singstar.

I'll do a signing if you will jo anne.

All proceeds going to the home for bewildered cliffy fans.

I don't know if I have the bottle, Dostaf.

Oh, go on, happen I do.

ps sciurus post a cracker.

We could go dutch in the bottle dept.

Meanwhile, here's a party hat to go with that festive cracker.

But the best-laid plans of mice and men often go astray
Add the best-made puns of *mine and many often go away ... (*not Dostaf's).

Even if I had the bottle, I'm not sure I have the write stuff ... no one will want a copy to behold and signed ...

Oh, Auld Lang Syne!

So rather than going into publishing, let's make it a happy new beer going into pub listings instead.

Well my first impression jo anne, was
enough of the crusty old Scottish lingo

But you can bet ALS will get well- mumbled and mangled as always, this week.

Mumbling is not cool nor is mangeling.

"It is concluded that Burns probably only added a few verses of the song. The most compelling evidence is demonstrated in a letter from Burns to Mrs Agnes Dunlop in which he comments..

'Light be the turf on breast of the heaven-inspired poet who composed this glorious fragment! There is more of the fire of native genius in it than in half a dozen of modern English Bacchanalians' "

(They don't write letters like they used to.)

Singing ALS and linking is a tradition that will never be tired of - I hope.

I am making a pre-New Year's Resolution to learn the words to Auld Lang Syne.

Good evening to all on what will be the last night of 2008

Ears wishing an appy
New Year to all.

I second that.

Have a great chime everyone.

It'll soon be time for twelve bongs and it's next year.

Have a smashing 2009.
Take care everybody x

I think you can bank on me recycling more bottles this year.

I try to be green.

We've wheelie bin spoiled in Wigan.

So spoiled that it was reported in Burnley.

I bet they were green with envy.

By the way, that "Green Lady" print , seen in thousands of homes in the Seventies, was allegedly cursed. This came into the popular press after seemingly many houses that had been on fire contained one. Spooky.

Spooky indeed. I don't think there will be many hanging about in Wigan homes these days though

Any road, this green person helps to keep people safe.

Re: cycling - there are plenty of these nowadays in the Wigan borough.

That picture would grace anyone's chimney breast jo anne. Is it the original?

Speaking of green men, I don't think yu see many of these hereabouts.

(Dostaf - I can't find anything about the curse of the Green Lady print, but have found that of the Crying boy?


I hope he wasn't crying as Charley said, 'Don't have fun'.)

PS Wat-er grate punster Yu are.

PPS Have green men been visiting Wigan recently?

Oh dear it seems I may have got the wrong print.

As for the visitors, they've been here before.

It's no use crying over print mix-ups, Dostaf.

So Bernard Wrigley thinks Martians would be at home in Wigan?!
Possibly in Mars Green.

The creator of the 70's hit sitcom “The Fall And Rise or Reginald Perrin” is coming to Wigan as part of the Words ‘09 Literature Festival.

David Nobbs will take part in a question and answer session as part of next April’s three week programme of events.

*Words ‘09 will be the sixth Leigh and Wigan Literary Festival to be held in the borough.

(*5th post down - For Word Thank You .)

That's news to me jo anne.

I've always been a reggie fan.

Although I preferred Rigsby.

This chap'll be all write by you then, Dostaf.


I'd have never watched either series if it wasn't for repeats - that would be amiss.

By gum jo anne, that Rigsby link had me hooked last night. I really got stuck into it. But when I posted this here I couldn't find this;

"Alan has his overcoat draped around his shoulders. Rigsby picks up an empty sleeve. (Stand Up And Be Counted).
- Oohh, been biting your nails again?"

I thought the Rigsby link would be up ure street.

Now you have more Rigsbyisms up your sleeve and tickling your funny bone.

- "Oohh, been biting your nails again?"
That Rigsby was gnaw-ty!

Of course it was right up my street.

But if you'll kindly bear with me once more.

It was never said where the programme was set (see setting).

Though I'm sure Rigsby once mentioned the River Humber.

But after my Green Lady info.

So all the leads seem to point to Leeds?
Or is it best not to jump to conclusions?

Of course, not meaning to be bigheaded, but I must immodestly say:

"I nevur get anything wrong."

And modest with it.

I've struggled to find an image of a chapel modesty board.
That's a modesty panel. Seen a lot of corsets though.

Of cors-et's inevitable you'd find the cheeky links, Dostaf.

I am the original Ms Modesty - see God's standard which seems to be at odds with **Gok's standard.

**I'll modestly point out how I've kindly spared you the trouble of googling 'How to Look Good Naked'.

So I've spared you the sights of people without attire,
or
the sites of people with spare air tyres.

Like this mon jo anne.

PS here's a bare leg image.

More lower limb links to follow:

A shapely pair of long bared legs, Dostaf.

And four bare legs - I hope they didn't give anyone paws for alarm.

Steady on jo anne. A long legged bird like that should be protected.

Being cheeky, is that bear off to the usual place?

If so, I hope he has the appropriate paperwork.

If so, I hope he has the appropriate paperwork.

That photo on the Toilet Guide is Charmin' - a Royle sitting on his throne to spend a penny!

I'd be deterred from using Encams Guide - the public conveniences seem a little too public.

Glad you found the modesty panel - it wood be useful to hide a bear behind.

I'm still not able to find if the Victorians really did hide their furniture legs.

I've done a little research, not undercover and no leg work required (phew!), and I can now *proudly present to you:

Victorian Legs.

It appears you might sea (if you looked carefully) a piano laden with cloth in many middle klass homes.

*My modesty apparent then again.

Butt, pride comes before a fall ...
And I do not wish to break a leg at this stage.

Brilliant.

Well-done you. I wonder why owd Diamante drawers never replaced these with one of these on top of his * old joanna.

* Apologies for using your namesake. I know there's a big difference.

This is a grand video - if a lady had posed atop of Liberace's pianos, (he was a man of many grands), her slide would come before a fall.

Hey - he noticed the difference in spelling!

According to wikipedia, a bigkey difference in the two names is:
Joanna is a feminine given name, whereas Joanne is a 'common' given name for females.

'Common' indeed.

How pride does come before a fall.

Nowt wrong with common jo anne. Ask lot.

At least you're in good company.

My dad chose my name as he thought it *novel.

There were four Joannes in my primary school classes and four in my secondary school forms.

(*After that there were pages of Joannes in the birth registry.)

I'd be a punter and bet on there not being many Dostafs at your schools - quite a rarity.

Yes indeed jo anne. You'd have as much chance of platting fog than finding another dostaf at my alma mater.

If you are a punting type you can have a safe bet on that. You could be a lucky punter.

PS It's really a nom de plume. Or should that be board?

Oh write, so Dostaf is your Nom de plume!

Like the author (and Arthur) whose real surname I won't blurt out?

Might I ask - how do you pronounce Dostaf?

I always say Doh - staff to any likely looking chaps in Wigan who could be you.

Well there's miles of fog in the Wigan hair tonight - so I shall go and plait it - a likely tail and a trying misttake.

(Edit- Sorry, I'd used a word with a second meaning I wasn't aware of. I've just checked - too late was the cry.)

What've I missed?

Was it a mispronunciation joanne?

Actally I dont pronounce it myself. I just type it.

If you see these chaps in Wigan, it's not me. I'm a little taller.

What've you mist? Not much, Dostaf.
(A mispronunciation is (2.)barkering up the wrong tree.)

I didn't have the foggiest about a word's second meaning, but it soon became clear I should edit when I looked it up.

Are you stilted or dosty'af long legs?

**"Actally I dont pronounce it myself. I just type it."

**You must pronounce it in your head though - even if you don't say it outloud - many puns don't work otherwise!

Haha! I'd've missed the actally pun if it wasn't for copying it to quote here!
Please would you annotate your puns from now on - I believe that would be most helpful.


And before you can say, 'Wot no links?' with worry or hope (I worry it's not the former and hope it's not the latter) ...

Better late than never!

and (2.)

PS Such height might come before a fall. Take care.

sorry jo anne, the act tally reference was a
plain and simple typo.

When I used spellcheck the other evening, I dropped a right clanger.

When the check was complete, I clicked on the "Click here to go back" note. Losing a string of links.

How frustrating!
This linking business can be laborious and make me crabby.

I now write involved posts on an email and then copy it, paste and post. If you click to go back, you still have the copy.

Such a sweet Clanger! Who would have thought they used bad language?

So actally was a Freudian quip.
Just a typo. Such modesty.
(Type O's are very common.)

O men(and women) are common, when it comes to blood jo anne.

Apparently, it's a popular group.

Who can beat The Beatles?!

Others can only ever be in their shadow. (For Bennie )

They definitely all had something about them.

One had a knack of seeing the pitfalls of life (amongst other things).

For another the sky's the limit too.

One who brought such calmer karma.

A Fab Four with a lot to tank for.

(I'm trying to drum up recognition where it is due.)

Aye jo anne, the Fab Four were certainly iconic

They didn't produce rubbish.

That Macca and his mucker certainly knew their onions.

Two legs good, four legs better - wheelie!

(I can say it with authority!)

Four lads are better than many other bands too.

But I won't fight about it.

Take care jo anne.

Best wishes.

I've decided to bounce back.

Oh dam and blast you might say.

Please excuse my French but may we parry again?

So you pooh-pooh The Beatles

What/who in the music world attracts your ear and merits your praise?

I'm glad you chose to spring back.

Now you have returned we shall parry on.

Musically speaking, my tastes are varied.

Haha! You like liquorice.

But "*Musically speaking, my tastes are varied."

Yes, you have * sung of which sweets you like to eat, but I fair can't weigh up why you said Sweet Fanny Adams about music.

(Wat-erbout
this sweet, btw?)

Please name your tunes - Tout de suite!!

You don't get away with 'allsorts' that easily!

Actally I'm easy going. But I dont' like rap music, or heavy rock.

I love music and would be able to find something I like in all *genres.

*That sounds good too - I'm not really an expert though.

I love CD's, youtube and the radio, but yesterday (all my troubles seemed so far away) until I heard something on the radio that made me almost go Ga Ga.

I settled down at my pc (with a cup of tea) and googled :

"While millions of people tap into RGoogle without considering the environment, a typical search generates about 7g of CO2.

Boiling a kettle generates about 15g."

So it's cowd water cuppas and a lessened likelihood of linking for this ww'er.

*****

Links - Where I would have linked, but now I shall just give clues.

R - Recycled Links (This one was used previously on 17th January, General Messageboard, Going Out Tonight thread.)

CO2 you reckon jo anne? As in greenhouse gas?

I can recycle puns but not links.

To even the ballance I'll start removing bulbs from fridges.

Dostaf - you could have boiled four kettles with your last post - a WW tea party.

Well, I won't be aparty to such frivolitea.

Although ... there has been a new wave of animated smilies who reside and respire on ww ...

Sorry to be brew-tal - a link I waste not --> wave not.

Less WW CO2 if this link will C2U, wanton waver!

[I could breathe a sigh of relief if it does - an exhalent result! (Except .. oh no .. CO2.) I must teastrain-er myself - some ww'ers think is a blast!]

Edit: Serves me right - I should have sean it in my tea leaves. This smilie's wave won't break even for tea.
Brian's proposed Tonker Mode would make a refreshing alternative.

I don't know about kettles jo anne, but those flaming wavy smileys are like a plague of boils.

Boils - sorely irritating and unsightly ... pusibly unsitely for some ww'ers.

Dostaf - RLanced boils don't matter ... we can safely pustulate it's in The Lanc-it - how green of us.

'Tonker Mode' will hairdress the problem coifferly - separating (but not *suppurating - ughh) wavy-haves and wavy-have-nots. Some hair might not curless ... I'm on a roller now ... but I'd still suppose 'WW Tonker Mode' shears are worth having a cut in.

(Out of site is out of mind - so each peace is worth quiet a byt.)

Sorry to be so sharp - I like you still.
(I don't mean to hurt - that isn't my style.)
****

*suppurate - vi. fester, form pus

I've started checking in my trusty (not crusty) old dictionary rather than boldy Googling where no ww'er may have started trekking before. There is ample space for us all to help our environment and wave goodbye to wanton waste (and waves).

Your endeavours to save the planet are indeed admirable jo anne.

but at what point would you stop?

Rodent powered meeces perhaps?

But what when the hamster's energy is sapped - it will paws for a rest, Dostaf.

And, even if it works, you've got to admit (not omit) that rodents emit CO2 too - so we're going round in circles. Oh cursors!

I've been puzzling over this

and now am nurserying a budding idea to redress the balance.

How about LD branching out and developing an ever green plant to convert our links' CO2 to O2 - its whereabouts being a closely-gardened secret and difficult to root out.

Photosynthesis - food for thought, not just for trees.

Careful jo anne. Laboratoires Dostaf have a good reputation.

I shouldn't like to be accused of talking hydroponics

Dostaf - LD's good reputation will only grow if my idea is nurtured and problems carefully weeded out as they arise.

'Hydroponics is also a standard technique in biology research and teaching' - it's not a dirty word or tactic.

Have you been listening to these lads jo anne.

There was a rumour going around that they are partial to a little weed now and again. But I'll leaf you to draw your own conclusions.


Seriously though, I suppose that from little acorns you could get some trees.

Well I'd seek to nip such a rumour in the bud.

I find being green can be quite a bonce warch.

But I will try to watch how I tread in wiganworld threads.

Am just trying summat..... just ignore me

He he i like that

We wouldn't ignore you Tracy - you're very welcome here.

Yes, feel free to join in tracy. We don't stand on ceremony and nof funny handshakes are required.

thank you both Jo anne and dostaf

You are very welcome Tracy - I'll wave back .

(It would be rude not too Dostaf.)

I'm happy to give tracy a wave or even waves back.

But I suspect a cunning plan by jo anne to trap me into joining the Booger Boogie.

Unfortunately, on principle I'm sticking to my guns.


Although I must admit I've been wondering if a link to a booger would count as surrender.

That Rlink was to a booger boom, but you only acted as the middle-man so, no, it doesn't count.

My resolve won't flag Dostaf and I won't let Rthis rest.

No * * * * * * * *, so Rsurrender.

High up! I see you've met me half-wave, Dostaf.

Thwaaarted.

Tea break quickie;

I was so impressed by your semaphore link jo anne that I felt the least I could do was to give you a wave (also as a courtesy to tracy). Forgetting that some folk are looking at larger screens than me, I didn't think my practice wave would show up.

I had intended explaining this later.TTFN

i asked about doin that.tell me step by step.please

i like it