Names for trades

Lets make this a light hearted one, do any of you know any apt names for businesses(hope Ive spelt that right) around where you live or have you seen any that have tickled your fancy in other places , what started me off on this was today we had our bins emptied and after they had been emptied around came a van to clean the bins for a price called wheelie clean, I thought this was very clever and then I thought about a Butchers shop which used to be in whelley called K Hogg butchers.there must be hundreds of them out there. So come on lets have some and dont all concentrate on hairdressers.

Last Saturday while travelling to Sydney by bus,on our way north,I spotted a ute belonging to a crane company with the slogan "Our business is picking up". There a few others I have seen but just can't recall them at present but I'm sure it will come back to me,like the man p-ing against the the wind.

gardners for your garden suplies.
george and june batter-fish and chips.
shearer,ladies and gents haidresser.

Seen a plumbers van once with the name `The Lone Drainer & Pronto` Our business was called Aarkive, we sold software & systems & consoles etc, the reason we used the Aa***** was because when we advertised we were usually the first ad in the listings.

Saw a concrete firm tuther week called 'Jim`ll Mix It'

About a month ago, i seen an 'aerial van'( roof top aerials).
Seriously, on the van was the company name and underneath it said
'best erections around'.
I couldn't stop laughing!

What about R.Soles shoe repairs,who's sign read for qaulity repairs R.Soles are best,Honest?

A few years ago there was a local GP called Dr.Quack and a dentist named I.Pullem,at first I thiught it was joke but it turned out to be fair dinkum.

Well, mine are only made up ones but in my stories the female character's name is Bel Leekey and she owns Leekey Haulage, Leekey Plumbing, Leekey Bathrooms, Leekey Roofing, Leekey Windows, and a few others!!

george bent...honest broker.

The car wash, at Carr Mill on the East Lancs. Road near St.Helens, had a big sign saying 'The Best Hand-Job In Town'. Needless to say, St.Helens Council didn't see the funny side.

Here's another slogan,it is used by a company who collect domestic garbage :-"Satisfaction guaranteed or double your rubbish back".

Dave and me would like to buy a motel near where we live and call it The tripple H. Hanna's honeymoon hideaway.

Like that one roy, we have one near us called news and booze, leave you to figure that one out if you have not forgotten too much wigganese

Was just reminded by a colleague about when the Police assembled the new Fast Action Response Team. They had to change it when they realised what the initials spelt!

there is a funeral parlour in chorley run by B.livesly.

Neverstill,you mean to tell me that they are still in business after all these years? They were dispatching when I was a lad but still there will always be customers for that kind of service although it could be called a "dead end" profession.

is iy just my dodgy memory os was there a hairdressers called 'Curl up & dye'??!!?

A shop in sheffield, called:

"R.C.Elbowe. Taxidermist"

When I worked for the Milk Marketing Board in Worcester (no longer there) we worked closely with Ministry of Agriculture, Fisheries & Food and the name of the guy in the Fisheries Department was Mr Haddock. True.

I know a bloke called John Law who is a solicitor. I can also recall a story me pa tole me but dunno if its true or if he was ribbin me. Sais there was a sign over a local shop THEOBALD, BUTCHER and some kids obliterated the O and the comma so it read THE BALD BUTCHER

Where l live theres a hairdressers called T"Dye For.............

driving down the highway in toronto and passed a large truck (FLUKE TRANSPORT0RT)with the slogan"if it arrives on time it"s a fluke".

Those familiar with Aussie terminology will understand this one and while not exactly a trades name it caused a bit of a snigger at the time.I don't know whether you have them in UK but we have a rival to KFC called Red Rooster and like all these businesses advertise big and bold,anyway to cut to the chase,a couple of years ago the S disappeared from the neon sign leaving the following :- "RED ROO.TER"

The Red Rooster his better than K F C ,fully Australian owned ,and give seniors 20%
discount.I know It,s got nothing to do with subjected being discussed ,just an ad for
Red Rooster.

There was a Doctor I use to go to In Manly
called Doctor Dick her first name was
Helen,thats fair dinkum.

we have a policeman here his name is
R KILLJOY (bobby killjoy) true
and the electrician who did work for me on the side of his van is the name
A.M SHORT .... he was 5ft 2 in

have seen these ones when have been out and about lol ..
arthur wall = Builders
Adrians Wall = builder
blue cow = butchers

saw a slogan for a moving firm.
" dont mess with other moving companies, you want that 250 pound package from L.A to N.Y overnight?? NORFOLK and WAYPAL.

NOT AN ADVERT BUT A LAD FROM WHELLEY WENT TO BUT A FISHING LICENSE,HIS NAME WAS ALAN RUDD,AND HE LIVED IN PERCH ST,ON GIVING THESE DETAILS,HE WAS TOLD TO GO AWAY AND COME BACK WITH SOME ID

now now Stuart you will be getting your hands slapped for innuendos like that, although I think its a very good one and Keno red roosters over here are a brand of potato

Most of you will remember Stuart Hall from his days as presenter of B.B.C. North West News. But he also owned a Travel Agency in his home town which I think was Buxton or somewere near there.

The name of the agency was ; STUART HALL INTERNATIONAL TRAVEL or as Stuart displayed it on he's shop, S.H.I.T.

Forgot to mention, the council made him take the sign down.

There is a builders lorry I see around here it has a slogan on the back
MY NAME IS BOB AND I DO A GOOD JOB
SATISFACTION GUARANTEED WITH EVERY
ERECTION!
cheeky devil!

Aitch, we have a driving school called
El Passo

Oh Kathy at your age!

Kathy,I can relate to that but I'm too modest to advertise.

I know [dream on] My husband has always done my building work but he is getting a bit old for D I Y now

Remember the old saying Kathy,there's many a good tune played on an old fiddle.At this stage I won't go down the D.I.Y road.

I used to know a lad called Miles Furlong....really nice lad too.

There used to be a shop in Chorley bearing the legend..."Reuben Marsden Pork Butchers" . Always used to make me laugh!

Also there is a cosmetic surgeon in Beverly Hills named "Dr. Alter"....if you get the TV prog. "Dr 90210" he's on that!

Debs

Used to know a car valeting firm on the Wirral called Mr Bitt! Well I thought it was funny.

I'll tell you what though,Debs, there was nothing funny about their pies ,probably some of the best in the Northwest. Now isn't that a coincidence that Darkhorse should mention a name like "Miles Furlong",I'll wager he had to race to get that one on and that it was odds-on getting to the post.