Joined: 07 Jul 2009
|Posted: Mon Dec 29, 2014 3:33 pm Post subject: A funny end to the year
|Just heard that in 2015 scientists hope to build a new device that can turn thoughts into speech, why bother as there's been a substance around for years that could do that, it’s called alcohol.
Many things can be preserved in alcohol, however many folks find that at New Years Eve parties their dignity is not one of them.
Some folks get so drunk at New Years Eve that if a vampire bit their neck they'd get a Bloody Mary.
Anyone who says that alcohol is a depressant isn’t drinking enough of it.
Heard about the man who thought about the evils of drinking in the New Year? He gave up thinking.
Don't go jogging on New Years Eve? The ice will fall out of your drink!
New Years Eve forecast: Mostly drunk with a slight chance of passing out.
Every New Year’s Day many folks wake up to the same question, “How did I get home".
An optimist stays up until midnight to see the new year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves.
On New Years Eve, just remember: if your cup runneth over, you’ve probably reached your limit.
New Year Resolutions.
I will stop buying useless rubbish on ebay when QVC sells rubbish that's useful.
I will stop using, "So, what's your URL?" as a pickup line.
I will spend less than five hours a day on the Internet.
I will read the manual... just as soon as I can find it.