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more kitten and cat advice needed please

Started by: zoe24 (2272) 

Does anyone know of anything i can do to stop cats n kittens scratching at my walls please, they making a right mess of it, my partner said put vinager near the area but i dont want my front room stinking of it
Thanx

Started: 30th Aug 2008 at 17:51

Posted by: mollie m (8031) 

No, you can't stop them Zoe. I would suggest you get a water pistol and, when you catch them doing it, give them a quick blast in their sides and shout "water" in a commanding tone. Each time they do it, repeat the process by shouting "water." Once they get used to this, they'll react without the water pistol, but just to the word water when said in the same tone of voice.

Water is the least cruel way of deterring cats from doing things, as it can't maim or hurt them.

Cats are very intelligent creatures and learn quickly. If you can afford one, buy a scratching pole, but if you can't, try making one out of a piece old tree branch, wrapped tightly with thick string.

Hope this helps!

Replied: 30th Aug 2008 at 17:57
Last edited by mollie m: 30th Aug 2008 at 17:58:00

Posted by: carolsmum (225) 

Hi Zoe as Mollie says you can't stop them I have always used Oil of Citronella - it smells of lemons - they don't like the smell of it but it doesn't harm them I used to dab it on the edges of whatever I didn't want them near

Replied: 30th Aug 2008 at 18:23

Posted by: zoe24 (2272) 

Thank you mollie and carolsmum, ill give um a go, as daft as it sounds the kittens copy their mum doing it, ill defo be investing in a scratch post and water gun
thanks again

Replied: 30th Aug 2008 at 19:40

Posted by: odins_child (inactive)

Mrs OC used the water gun trick, before we got married, for her dog when he got randy and started humping the furniture

Now she uses the same trick on me .....

Replied: 30th Aug 2008 at 20:05

Posted by: mollie m (8031) 

Why? Do you try to hump the furniture as well?

Replied: 30th Aug 2008 at 20:27

Posted by: danni (inactive)

Mollie !!!

Replied: 30th Aug 2008 at 20:28

Posted by: odins_child (inactive)

You know me Moll, cant resist a decent leather sofa

Replied: 30th Aug 2008 at 20:30

Posted by: bennielechat (5762)

I think I'll stand up if you ever invite me to your house Odin

Replied: 30th Aug 2008 at 20:49

Posted by: odins_child (inactive)

LMAO @ Bennie

Replied: 30th Aug 2008 at 20:58

Posted by: zoe24 (2272) 

or just take a water gun bennie and squirt him if he comes near you

Replied: 30th Aug 2008 at 21:02

Posted by: odins_child (inactive)

Or...borrow Mrs OC's

Replied: 30th Aug 2008 at 21:12

Posted by: mollie m (8031) 

From Danni. Mollie !!!

Wot? Wor'ava said now?

Replied: 31st Aug 2008 at 00:11

Posted by: levi1962 (3577) 

just get them a scratch poll zoe, when they go to the wall pick them up tap them on the head not to hard though then put them in front of the poll, u'll probably only have to do it a couple of time they learn quick cats once they now theres something they can use

Replied: 1st Sep 2008 at 17:00

Posted by: franny (inactive)

Clear Varnish on the wallpaper Zoe. Make sure it is the non-toxic one. It makes the wallpaper much more difficult to tear

Replied: 1st Sep 2008 at 17:07

Posted by: levi1962 (3577) 

i'll bet it does franny stops kids pulling it of too

Replied: 1st Sep 2008 at 17:10

Posted by: franny (inactive)

Aye Levi you are right. A mate of mine mentioned it to me years ago. We use it in some of our care homes for people with a mental health problem. Just have to make sure its the non toxic stuff!

Replied: 1st Sep 2008 at 17:14

Posted by: levi1962 (3577) 

yeah doesnt go down to well if u get high does it

Replied: 1st Sep 2008 at 17:16

Posted by: zoe24 (2272) 

Im gonna get um a scratch poll soon, they seem be doin it on anything now lol, i know its just in there nature but its so annoying, how the kitty levi?, prob a lil sod like my 2

Replied: 1st Sep 2008 at 17:21

Posted by: levi1962 (3577) 

tell me about it zoe got another one a lil girl to quieten him down a bit didnt work shes as daft as him now then a couple of weeks ago my eldest female cat Tinker had five black tabby kittens which will be three weeks old on thursday

Replied: 1st Sep 2008 at 17:27

Posted by: zoe24 (2272) 

lol you must have a busy house with all them cats, bet they fun to watch though

Replied: 1st Sep 2008 at 17:32

Posted by: levi1962 (3577) 

oh they are zoe although max does keep of the way when theres kittens about

Replied: 1st Sep 2008 at 21:24

Posted by: debbie_q (2556) 

oooh i dont know levi, he doesnt mind the girls!!

Replied: 1st Sep 2008 at 23:21

Posted by: levi1962 (3577) 

yeah we he can be bothered to get up the lazy sod

Replied: 2nd Sep 2008 at 16:01

Posted by: zoe24 (2272) 

Hiya can i ask for a little more advice on cats/kittens please My cat (the mum of the kittens) has started to get really nasty towards the kittens, she hisses, hits, growls at them for no reason at all, i read its cause they are at a certain age now (around 5 months) and she thinks they shouldnt be following her about and thats why shes doing it, but they are not following her, they can be sat there and she will just go over and hiss or hit them, poor things are frightened to death of her. i just dont think she likes them

Replied: 29th Sep 2008 at 12:49

Posted by: mollie m (8031) 

Zoe, don't panic. That's perfectly normal. If the kittens are five months old now, mum reckons she's done her whack and it's time they made their own way in the world. She wants a bit of peace and quiet now, and to resume her position in the household.

Where before she had them, she had your undivided attention but, now there are little ones around, she may think they're going to take over the household.

Don't worry. She's just putting them in their place as "head cat" and the kittens will learn their place as well.

Replied: 29th Sep 2008 at 13:21

Posted by: zoe24 (2272) 

Thanks mollie, i have read on the internet what you have put but wasnt sure as she is getting really nasty, she is known as the evil one by the kids lol. I have been letting her go upstairs to get out the way, feel better now you have said it also. Cant say i blame her the kittens are lil torments lol
thanks again

Replied: 29th Sep 2008 at 13:30

Posted by: mollie m (8031) 

'Tis my pleasure, chuck. I don't post much on here, but if I can help somebody out, I will do.

Oh, by the way, if she starts battering them, don't interfere. It's her way of making them stand up for themselves if confronted by other cats. She sounds like a good mother to me, teaching them what they need to know!

Replied: 29th Sep 2008 at 13:39
Last edited by mollie m: 29th Sep 2008 at 13:41:19

Posted by: zoe24 (2272) 

Oh ok, i have been stopping her when she has been going for them,(then she hisses at me lol) ill leave her to it from now on it sounds daft but i feel tight on the kittens cos they just want their mum lol
Thanks again

Replied: 29th Sep 2008 at 13:45

Posted by: amanda333 (2418)

your a big softie like me zoe

Replied: 29th Sep 2008 at 14:00

Posted by: mollie m (8031) 

I know, I'm a softy as well, but the kitties have to learn independence and it's mum's way of teaching them that.

Don't get me wrong, Zoe. If she is really giving them a hammer, which would be unlikely, then clap your hands or something to make mum back off, otherwise, don't interfere with nature.

Replied: 29th Sep 2008 at 14:16

Posted by: amanda333 (2418)

i agree with you mollie, i've got five cats, thats because we had kittens. she's just showing who's boss, the kittens wont come to any harm, bless

Replied: 29th Sep 2008 at 14:30

Posted by: mollie m (8031) 

I've always had multiple cats in the house but I'm now down to three. Three of mine died between March and June this year for one reason or another, but we kept keeping kittens as well years ago. Daft aren't we?

Having kept cats for well over 50 years, I've learned a great deal about them by watching them, and studying them, and you get back from them what you put in. They can be fiercely loyal and get jealous if your attention is given elsewhere.

They may appear aloof to outsiders, but they are extremely intelligent, quick to learn and like to please. They respond to the voice and if reprimanding them you can't sound soft saying something like "that's naughty!" They understand perfectly well when you show displeasure either in your face or voice.

A dog will obey to please it's master, but nobody owns a cat and, if you want them to do something, you have to meet them halfway and give them the respect that they'll give back to you if they're treated fairly.

Replied: 29th Sep 2008 at 14:43

Posted by: zoe24 (2272) 

Thank you both, it makes alot of sence in what your saying, ill just keep my eye on them, your right in that they know the difference in your voice, 1 of my kittens keep climbing up the curtain and now when i shout for her to get down she does, even though shes back up there 5 mins later
Do you think cats learn their names like dogs do, my partner dosnt think they do

Replied: 29th Sep 2008 at 14:48

Posted by: amanda333 (2418)

yes my cats no there names

Replied: 29th Sep 2008 at 14:57

Posted by: zoe24 (2272) 

I thought they did amanda
Do your cats go outside?

Replied: 29th Sep 2008 at 15:05

Posted by: amanda333 (2418)

if its sunny, but there lazy and sleep on the beds they have the run of the house, but i have to watch my lovely little budgie, so when i go out so do they

Replied: 29th Sep 2008 at 15:20

Posted by: zoe24 (2272) 

Im not sure about letting the kittens out, incase they dont come back, we have had them in the back garden with us keeping an eye on them so they dont run of, but not sure if to let them roam free, ive been told they will come back though

Replied: 29th Sep 2008 at 15:27

Posted by: amanda333 (2418)

well mine are 6 yrs old now zoe. we did let them out when they were younger but we don't live near a busy road, and its right in the country, so it depends if you live near a busy road ect, you'll know when its right for you, and cats do like freedom, they always come home to eat

Replied: 29th Sep 2008 at 15:34

Posted by: zoe24 (2272) 

yes i remember you saying now amanda that you lived in the country, i dont live on a busy road, i live on a estate, but id just let them out the back door if i let them out, think ill wait a couple weeks and then see how i feel

Replied: 29th Sep 2008 at 15:45

Posted by: mollie m (8031) 

Yes, cats do know their names, absolutely.

Zoe, if you're keeping the kittens they have to learn about the outside world. I don't believe in keeping cats in. It's cruel because they are animals. They're sharpening their claws on your wallpaper at present but, once they start going outside, they'll find trees or a piece of wood to do that on.

I know some people don't allow their cats out but I'm afraid I disagree with that. The females are natural hunters and to deprive them of their instincts is wrong.

Cats will only stay where they want to be, Zoe. If they wish to leave your home to find somewhere else to live, there's nothing you can do about it. Nobody owns a cat, like I said before.

Dogs have masters.
Cats have servants!

Back to whether or not they should go out. I definitely wouldn't allow them out the front at any time but, if you've got a garden, let them go out there. I don't know what you do or say when it's their feeding time, but we've always had a trigger word "Whiskas" and when they hear that, they know it's feeding time and come tumbling in.

You could try using a trigger word until they're used to it then, say let them out 10 minutes before feeding time. When they hear your trigger word they'll come back. Then extend the period to 15 mins, 20 mins etc until they've explored their surroundings and are at ease with it.

Replied: 29th Sep 2008 at 15:47
Last edited by mollie m: 29th Sep 2008 at 15:54:02

Posted by: amanda333 (2418)

they'll be fine zoe, don't worry....i second all that mollie said, good luck

Replied: 29th Sep 2008 at 15:50

Posted by: amanda333 (2418)

for you zoe, one of my cats at playtime



Replied: 29th Sep 2008 at 16:00

Posted by: zoe24 (2272) 

Thanks for all your advice and sorry for asking so many questions i will do as you have said mollie and try them with a certain word, normally when i feed them they know cause they hear the cupboard door and come running in to me, so now ill say something as i do it and yes we keeping the kittens, no chance could i give them away, they have their own cute lil personalities

Replied: 29th Sep 2008 at 16:05

Posted by: mollie m (8031) 



Don't apologise for asking questions because that's the only way to learn the answers. The advice I've passed on to you has worked for me for goodness knows how many years. Even as a child we had a cat and I'm 59 this year but, one thing I didn't mention, and it's very important. Never treat them in the same way, because they're not the same. They will each develop their own personalities so they need to be treated on a one to one basis and not just think of them as "the cats!"

My cats are always ready to eat at 6.15 every evening and at 8.30 in the mornings. I keep them to strict times so they form the habit of knowing when their feeds are due. And when I say to them "10 o'clock milk" they know exactly what that means. They get milk between the three of them once a day as a treat, and know it's kept in the fridge, but always keep a bowl of fresh cold water for them to drink from as well.

Goodness, I could write a book, couldn't I?

Replied: 29th Sep 2008 at 16:16

Posted by: bennielechat (5762)

You just have Mollie.

Replied: 29th Sep 2008 at 16:24

Posted by: mollie m (8031) 



There's a lot more to it than that though, Bennie, as you well know!

Replied: 29th Sep 2008 at 16:26

Posted by: amanda333 (2418)

Mine always got the runs when i gave them milk, but like you say there all different

Replied: 29th Sep 2008 at 16:26

Posted by: mollie m (8031) 

Kittens can be lactose intolerant when they've been feeding from their mothers. I only give mine sterilised milk because it doesn't contain as much cream. Full cream milk can give kittens and cats the trots.

When I said they're not all the same, I meant their personalities, not their dietary needs. Their food, like ours, should be well-balanced to keep them fit and healthy.

As I said before though, mine only get milk at 10 p.m. and milk should never be given to them as a drink because it isn't. Milk is a food-stuff and, like us, cats need water to cleanse their systems, especially their kidneys.

I'll keep popping back to this topic in case I can be of any further help.

Replied: 29th Sep 2008 at 16:35
Last edited by mollie m: 29th Sep 2008 at 17:27:38

Posted by: bennielechat (5762)

Mollie I think the "feed me on demand" system in our house with have to be reviewed.

Replied: 29th Sep 2008 at 17:27

Posted by: mollie m (8031) 



I think your cats may be a little too old now to start learning discipline!

Don't get me wrong. If mine are genuinely hungry later in the evening, I'll put a snack down for two of them to share. Coco and Casey are big cats and, during the colder months, cats do need stoking up a bit more like we do. They tend (as a rule) to eat a little less when it's hot.

Replied: 29th Sep 2008 at 17:45
Last edited by mollie m: 29th Sep 2008 at 17:45:46

Posted by: dostaf (inactive)

A neighbour's cat keeps sratching around the window panes in our conservatory (lean to). Bleedin nuisance it is.

Replied: 29th Sep 2008 at 17:48
Last edited by dostaf: 29th Sep 2008 at 17:55:55

Posted by: zoe24 (2272) 

Awe your cats very cute amanda, looks like a big un
my cats get fed when i get up in the moprning and they know as soon as i get up its feed time, and they get biscuits as snacks through the day and then fed again when we have our tea, they also get the poo's when they have milk, they have always had water.
my two kittens have got totally different personalities, the female is shy but a lil sod for climbing up things but prefers to play with toys rather than people and my male one is very playfull with anyone, dosnt climb much and very friendly, they sooo cute lol

Replied: 29th Sep 2008 at 19:00

Posted by: dizzy blonde (2132)

Why can't cat owners keep their cats/kitties in of a night? Why can't they train them to use litter trays Moll? Also, what's all that catterwaulin' business what sounds like a baby mawkin'?

Replied: 29th Sep 2008 at 19:04

Posted by: zoe24 (2272) 

Really creepy the noise they make at night aint it dizzy blonde.
My cat goes out, but we keep her in at night and they all litter trained, but i must admit the cat probably does stuff when shes out to

Replied: 29th Sep 2008 at 19:11

Posted by: dostaf (inactive)

That scratching around your windows night after night is scary.

Replied: 29th Sep 2008 at 19:15

Posted by: mollie m (8031) 

Like Zoe says, mine are litter-tray trained, but they do go out as well.

As for the caterwauling. Blame those who keep male cats and don't have them neutered. There's nothing worse than that awful sound.

Mine only go out at night when they want to do summat, but they never go further than my back garden, then they come back in again.

The thing that aggravates me is folk chucking their dogs out at night where they foul the footpath and are barking until the early hours.

Horses for courses, swings and roundabouts, but we digress slightly.

Replied: 29th Sep 2008 at 19:19

Posted by: dizzy blonde (2132)

Hiya Mollie We chuck our dog in our own garden out last thing at night for a final wee & poo and clear up the next morning. Not nice to find cat poo in your borders. So it's male cats that make all the din is it??? Typical!!!

Replied: 29th Sep 2008 at 19:26

Posted by: mollie m (8031) 

Sorry Dizzy. I've bin maulin' about doing other stuff.

You're responsible dog owners but not everybody is.

Yep, it's the male of the species that does the squawking, as in most other species! They do it when they're after a female, randy little sods! Problem is, when they catch one on heat, the noise is formidable. That's why all mine are neutered.

Replied: 29th Sep 2008 at 21:05

Posted by: dostaf (inactive)

Some of the glass in my lean to is ready to fall out. I've put orange peel down but it's no use.

Replied: 29th Sep 2008 at 21:14

Posted by: sue.64 (6879)

dostaf.. have you got planting space there.. i9f so plant coleus canina.. cats and dogs both destest it

Replied: 29th Sep 2008 at 21:16

Posted by: blackpoolbabe (86)

I love cats, but have to agree that the noise they make while out mating during the small hours is evil.

The only way i can describe it is sounds like babies being sacrificed. Waking up at 3 am in the morning to that sound gives me the willies...

Luckily r tigs been done so she is not part of the wigan cat bonk orchestra thank God

Replied: 29th Sep 2008 at 21:22

Posted by: zoe24 (2272) 

Thats what i call my cat blackpoolbabe, her names tigger but we call her tigs. she went out before and must be hding because of the rain bless her

Replied: 29th Sep 2008 at 21:25

Posted by: dostaf (inactive)

sue.64 not really got the room. it's a narrow sill that it sits on. If it's not scratching it's plucking away. The rain has started getting in.

Replied: 29th Sep 2008 at 21:26

Posted by: sue.64 (6879)

not sure if it will work dostaf but you could try buying one and then rubbing the leaves all over the sill. gotta be worth a shot. the scent from the leaves should release when rubbed, it does stink an all

Replied: 29th Sep 2008 at 21:31

Posted by: dostaf (inactive)

Looking things up on thinternet sue, it would appear to be down to a specific breed.

Replied: 29th Sep 2008 at 21:32

Posted by: sue.64 (6879)

why though, whats attracting the cat and what breed is it, maybe moll could help.
im afraid im not very well up on cats dostaf, much prefer my faithful doggies.

Replied: 29th Sep 2008 at 21:38

Posted by: dostaf (inactive)

Sorry to do this to you sue.

It's a Putty Cat.





Replied: 29th Sep 2008 at 21:39

Posted by: mollie m (8031) 

Dostaf, do you have any mint growing near your conservatory? If so, that's the problem, as cats absolutely love mint and will even roll over in it. I know it smells great in the garden, but it does attract cats.

Other than that, I haven't the foggiest, I'm afraid.

Replied: 29th Sep 2008 at 21:42

Posted by: danni (inactive)

oh Moll, get it?? putty...window the daft apeth was having a joke on Sue

Replied: 29th Sep 2008 at 21:45

Posted by: sue.64 (6879)

dostaf you swine
you did that to me once before with the spotty dog, [remember]..
gonna be watchin you mister

Replied: 29th Sep 2008 at 21:46

Posted by: sue.64 (6879)

yes and bloody daft sue just asked moll to take a look.

Replied: 29th Sep 2008 at 21:47

Posted by: mollie m (8031) 

Well I was just trying to help. You know I don't come on here much!

Replied: 29th Sep 2008 at 21:48

Posted by: bennielechat (5762)

Knew you were up to mischief Dostaf, well done , you persevered and knocked it in.

Replied: 29th Sep 2008 at 21:50

Posted by: lisalee (12155) 

Kick his backside Sue!

Replied: 29th Sep 2008 at 21:51

Posted by: sue.64 (6879)

me too moll, i was being all seriarse..

get ya next time dostaf

Replied: 29th Sep 2008 at 21:52

Posted by: dostaf (inactive)

Dos. "A neighbour's cat keeps sratching around the window panes in our conservatory (lean to). Bleedin nuisance it is."

Dos. "That scratching around your windows night after night is scary."

Dos. "Some of the glass in my lean to is ready to fall out. I've put orange peel down but it's no use."

Sue. "dostaf.. have you got planting space there.. i9f so plant coleus canina.. cats and dogs both destest it"

Dos. "sue.64 not really got the room. it's a narrow sill that it sits on. If it's not scratching it's plucking away. The rain has started getting in.

Sue. "not sure if it will work dostaf but you could try buying one and then rubbing the leaves all over the sill. gotta be worth a shot. the scent from the leaves should release when rubbed, it does stink an all"

Dos. "Looking things up on thinternet sue, it would appear to be down to a specific breed."

Sue. "why though, whats attracting the cat and what breed is it, maybe moll could help.
im afraid im not very well up on cats dostaf, much prefer my faithful doggies."

Dos. "Sorry to do this to you sue.

It's a Putty Cat."

Replied: 29th Sep 2008 at 21:52
Last edited by dostaf: 29th Sep 2008 at 21:59:15

Posted by: sue.64 (6879)

and your in the firing line as well bennie... ya could a warned us

Replied: 29th Sep 2008 at 21:53

Posted by: sue.64 (6879)

ner ner ner ner to you an all dostaf

Replied: 29th Sep 2008 at 21:55

Posted by: dostaf (inactive)

Hei Thenk Yow.


Apologies to all

Many thanks esp. to mollie for trying to help.

Replied: 29th Sep 2008 at 21:57

Posted by: sue.64 (6879)

have to say dostaf you made me chuckle.. that and give meself a good hard fizzog slap when i saw the words 'putty cat'
gonna be very wary of you mister

Replied: 29th Sep 2008 at 22:01

Posted by: dostaf (inactive)

Made my day when I got a "bite" sue.

Thanks

Replied: 29th Sep 2008 at 22:03

Posted by: sue.64 (6879)

be warned dostaf. i bite back.

just when you think i forget , is't get ya

Replied: 29th Sep 2008 at 22:06

Posted by: mollie m (8031) 

No worries, Dostaf! 'Tis a pleasure speykin' at ya, chuck!

Replied: 29th Sep 2008 at 22:06

Posted by: dostaf (inactive)

Cheers mollie. Sue, I'd forgotten about the dog and you obviously had.

Replied: 29th Sep 2008 at 22:09

Posted by: danni (inactive)

dos, I'd keep checking over me shoulder if I were you from now on

Replied: 29th Sep 2008 at 22:12

Posted by: sue.64 (6879)

theres a saying dostaf, once bitten twice shy.. not in my case eh..
theres a new one though.

sue, [lesson to self] when dostaf posts read very carefully , then slap yerself and read it again before you post.
that is my lesson to myself today

Replied: 29th Sep 2008 at 22:14

Posted by: dostaf (inactive)

Infamy, Infamy They've all got.......

Replied: 29th Sep 2008 at 22:14

Posted by: sue.64 (6879)

tomorrow however is another matter.

tomorrow i will plot my revenge.

danni im gonna get him back

Replied: 29th Sep 2008 at 22:17

Posted by: lisalee (12155) 

Sue you've let me down....I expected a good backside kick by now!

You know if you need any help.......

Replied: 29th Sep 2008 at 22:18

Posted by: sue.64 (6879)

do not fear lisa.. my ass kicking head will soon be screwed back on. the one i have on at the mo is full o fluff.

Replied: 29th Sep 2008 at 22:21

Posted by: lisalee (12155) 

Tell me about it! Don't think you are on your own it's just my fluff is a different kind of fluff. If you get my drift!

Replied: 29th Sep 2008 at 22:23

Posted by: sue.64 (6879)

i do lisa

Replied: 29th Sep 2008 at 22:25

Posted by: dostaf (inactive)

Do bottles on the lawn work?

29th Sep 2008 at 17:48

Replied: 5th Dec 2011 at 14:50
Last edited by dostaf: 5th Dec 2011 at 14:51:59

Posted by: joseph 1 (inactive)

Well that was bloody hard work, mester.

No wonder...

I nearly booked a flight out myself!

Replied: 5th Dec 2011 at 18:35

Posted by: dostaf (inactive)

I didn't really want to queer my pitch elsewhere.

You seen last week's Still Game, mester?

Smoking in the Clansman.

Replied: 5th Dec 2011 at 18:38

Posted by: joseph 1 (inactive)

No I didn't know it was back on!

Replied: 5th Dec 2011 at 18:39

Posted by: Mac (inactive)

Replied: 5th Dec 2011 at 18:41

Posted by: joseph 1 (inactive)

Cheers!

Replied: 5th Dec 2011 at 18:45

Posted by: Mac (inactive)

Replied: 5th Dec 2011 at 18:46

Posted by: dostaf (inactive)

On Jockvision, but available on iplayer.

Replied: 5th Dec 2011 at 18:49

Posted by: joseph 1 (inactive)

Hahaha! Only just noticed, daft sods!

Replied: 5th Dec 2011 at 18:53

Posted by: dostaf (inactive)

Now kindly stick to the topic.

Replied: 5th Dec 2011 at 19:01

Posted by: Mac (inactive)

Lest 'some people' order coches.

Replied: 5th Dec 2011 at 19:03

Posted by: dostaf (inactive)

Tuppence a bag.

Replied: 5th Dec 2011 at 19:06

Posted by: Mac (inactive)

̶P̶r̶o̶b̶l̶y̶
Proberly

Replied: 5th Dec 2011 at 19:10

Posted by: joseph 1 (inactive)

"Tuppence a bag."

Is that the price of those shady ladies from Pem?

Replied: 5th Dec 2011 at 19:16

Posted by: Mac (inactive)

I shall desist in a crude jape involving times of Month.

Or crusts.

Replied: 5th Dec 2011 at 19:18

Posted by: dostaf (inactive)

It is a song about feeding birds, mester. As well you know.

Though what feeding birds has to do with cats, is another thing altogether and no doubt asking for trouble.

Replied: 5th Dec 2011 at 19:19

Posted by: joseph 1 (inactive)

Aye leave it for another period!

Or another time, about Tampax Two.

Replied: 5th Dec 2011 at 19:20

Posted by: Mac (inactive)

OOF!

Replied: 5th Dec 2011 at 19:21

Posted by: joseph 1 (inactive)

It's Monday give us a break!

Replied: 5th Dec 2011 at 19:24

Posted by: joseph 1 (inactive)

Shame on you, mester. Feeding little birds to cats, and in December too.

Replied: 5th Dec 2011 at 19:25

Posted by: dostaf (inactive)

Replied: 5th Dec 2011 at 19:25

Posted by: dostaf (inactive)

The feeding at tuppence a bag is a Troll song, mester.

♪♫♪♫ Feed the Troll...etc...

Replied: 5th Dec 2011 at 19:28
Last edited by dostaf: 5th Dec 2011 at 19:28:42

Posted by: walshy76 (inactive)

a 3 year old thread opened again......some people really do need to get a life

Replied: 5th Dec 2011 at 19:29

Posted by: Mac (inactive)

̶p̶r̶o̶b̶e̶r̶l̶y̶
Probly

Replied: 5th Dec 2011 at 19:30

Posted by: joseph 1 (inactive)

Who's the Troll?

I can laugh, when things ain't funny, Happy Go Lucky Me!

Replied: 5th Dec 2011 at 19:30

Posted by: dostaf (inactive)

December explanation aisle three please.

Replied: 5th Dec 2011 at 19:31

Posted by: dostaf (inactive)

You can sing the FTB song with a vibrato voice, but change the word 'birds' to 'turds'.

Try it in the bath.

Replied: 5th Dec 2011 at 19:32

Posted by: Mac (inactive)

Must be ̶H̶u̶n̶g̶a̶r̶y̶. hungry.

Replied: 5th Dec 2011 at 19:32

Posted by: walshy76 (inactive)

such excitement

Replied: 5th Dec 2011 at 19:33

Posted by: Mac (inactive)

Geordie bloke off 'The Word' used to do a smashing rendition of FTB before assaulting himself by hitting himself on the hand with a hammer.

Replied: 5th Dec 2011 at 19:34

Posted by: joseph 1 (inactive)

I can't sing nowt in vibrato me.

Replied: 5th Dec 2011 at 19:34

Posted by: dostaf (inactive)

Replied: 5th Dec 2011 at 19:35

Posted by: joseph 1 (inactive)

Whistle and they come.

Replied: 5th Dec 2011 at 19:35

Posted by: Mac (inactive)

HAHAHA!

Replied: 5th Dec 2011 at 19:35

Posted by: dostaf (inactive)

Wibble your Adams apple with a free hand, mester. It helps.

Replied: 5th Dec 2011 at 19:36

Posted by: Mac (inactive)

Multi tasking now is it!

Replied: 5th Dec 2011 at 19:37

Posted by: joseph 1 (inactive)

"free hand".

Such implications!

Replied: 5th Dec 2011 at 19:37

Posted by: walshy76 (inactive)

Whistle and they come

hahaha now thats funny coming off someone who wanted to be in the pied pipers gang, before he upt sticks and left

Replied: 5th Dec 2011 at 19:38

Posted by: dostaf (inactive)

Ay thang yow.

Replied: 5th Dec 2011 at 19:38

Posted by: joseph 1 (inactive)

Gangs? Pied Piper? Left?

Realms of fantasy!

Replied: 5th Dec 2011 at 19:40

Posted by: dostaf (inactive)

Can't find a pic of the Goodies getting shot of the Rolf Harrisses

Or is that Harrissi?

Replied: 5th Dec 2011 at 19:43

Posted by: joseph 1 (inactive)

Harrissi? Sounds like the Hamlin gang who round up rats. I do wish I was a member.

Replied: 5th Dec 2011 at 19:52

Posted by: Mac (inactive)

Typing of members.....

Replied: 5th Dec 2011 at 19:56

Posted by: joseph 1 (inactive)

You can let go now, Mac if you have stopped wibbling.

Replied: 5th Dec 2011 at 20:02

Posted by: dostaf (inactive)

It was a great episode. They (Harrissi) all followed the pipers to a portal to the 'other side'. A big door with the ATV logo opened.

And only one was left. To tell the tale. He had mobility problems. (I don't think the Goodies phrased it that way)

'The other side'

See BLC's Observer TV guide.

Replied: 5th Dec 2011 at 20:02
Last edited by dostaf: 5th Dec 2011 at 20:07:40

Posted by: dostaf (inactive)

You can let go now, Mac if you have stopped wibbling

Replied: 5th Dec 2011 at 20:05

Posted by: Mac (inactive)

Just boinging it off now.

Replied: 5th Dec 2011 at 20:07

Posted by: bentlegs (5330)

Mollie M, I have sent you an email regarding cats, It's good,

Replied: 5th Dec 2011 at 20:07

Posted by: dostaf (inactive)

Is your piping pied, Mac?

Replied: 5th Dec 2011 at 20:09

Posted by: Mac (inactive)

Back to the crust filth!

Replied: 5th Dec 2011 at 20:10

Posted by: dostaf (inactive)

False teeth.

Replied: 5th Dec 2011 at 20:12

Posted by: dostaf (inactive)

Replied: 5th Dec 2011 at 20:15

Posted by: joseph 1 (inactive)

Harold!

Replied: 5th Dec 2011 at 20:15

Posted by: dostaf (inactive)

Crimping tool for pie crusts.

Replied: 5th Dec 2011 at 20:17

Posted by: Mac (inactive)

Crusts, good on pies, not so good on.....

Replied: 5th Dec 2011 at 20:18

Posted by: dostaf (inactive)

Cats?

See what I did there?

Stick to topic.

Replied: 5th Dec 2011 at 20:20

Posted by: joseph 1 (inactive)

Make sure they have a hump.

Replied: 5th Dec 2011 at 20:23

Posted by: dostaf (inactive)

Wappits

Replied: 5th Dec 2011 at 20:24

Posted by: joseph 1 (inactive)

Or cats! Vell, velly nice.

Replied: 5th Dec 2011 at 20:27

Posted by: dostaf (inactive)



I wonder what anyone who has only just seen this owd thread must be thinking?

I was tempted to do a December explanation.

But thought sod it.

Replied: 5th Dec 2011 at 20:29
Last edited by dostaf: 5th Dec 2011 at 20:30:41

Posted by: Mac (inactive)

Replied: 5th Dec 2011 at 20:34
Last edited by Mac: 5th Dec 2011 at 20:46:32

Posted by: dostaf (inactive)



Complaints will flood in.

Replied: 5th Dec 2011 at 20:36

Posted by: dostaf (inactive)



I wouldn't have kicked her out o...............

Proper explanation (14:47)



Hope that helps.

Replied: 5th Dec 2011 at 20:55
Last edited by dostaf: 5th Dec 2011 at 20:56:44

Posted by: madamehmurray (6273) 

Have you ever heard of a claw post it is a post or something that your kitten can use so it doesn;t ruin anything. We have three kittens now and one Cat. We have some stuff that is ruined. Our nice couch we got at an auction is all dug up.

Replied: 6th Dec 2011 at 00:57

Posted by: joseph 1 (inactive)

Yes Erin, we call it the headboard. The wife finds it very helpful.

Replied: 6th Dec 2011 at 14:50

Posted by: dostaf (inactive)

I was going to type 'scratching post', but I'd better not, following that ^^^^^^^.

Replied: 6th Dec 2011 at 14:56

Posted by: joseph 1 (inactive)

Replied: 6th Dec 2011 at 14:58

Posted by: dostaf (inactive)

'Local vet clips nails.'

Read story/advert in local rag.

Replied: 6th Dec 2011 at 15:06

Posted by: joseph 1 (inactive)

I'm a dog now, is it?

Replied: 6th Dec 2011 at 15:07

Posted by: dostaf (inactive)

You're thinking ot that other joke.

Replied: 6th Dec 2011 at 15:10

Posted by: madamehmurray (6273) 

lol do you bark and like to hunt JOesph

Replied: 7th Dec 2011 at 01:40

Posted by: dostaf (inactive)



He has given me that impression too, Erin.

Replied: 7th Dec 2011 at 14:17

Posted by: joseph 1 (inactive)

Infamy! Infamy!.......

Replied: 7th Dec 2011 at 22:36

Posted by: mache (inactive)

Sorry (Mache's Cat)

Replied: 24th May 2013 at 20:11

Posted by: dustaf (inactive)

Expect complaints.

Replied: 24th May 2013 at 20:12

Posted by: mache (inactive)

I've put the cat out now, he got excited when he saw the thread title

Replied: 24th May 2013 at 20:14

Posted by: dustaf (inactive)

Spontaneously combusted, did he?

Replied: 24th May 2013 at 20:15

Posted by: mache (inactive)

his eyes lit up though

Replied: 24th May 2013 at 20:16

Posted by: joseph 1 (inactive)

I would like to complain!

Replied: 24th May 2013 at 20:17

Posted by: dustaf (inactive)

See!

Replied: 24th May 2013 at 20:20

Posted by: joseph 1 (inactive)

Why am I expecting a pencil sharpener comment?

Replied: 24th May 2013 at 20:23

Posted by: dustaf (inactive)

'his eyes lit up though'

Percy Shaw, Ken Dodd and a colonoscopy come to mind.

Replied: 24th May 2013 at 20:23

Posted by: turbo (2147)

You could use one of these and hang it from a door handle

Cat Carrier

Replied: 24th May 2013 at 23:04

Posted by: dustaf (inactive)



I've been looking for a drawing of one of those for quite a while, Turbo.

I remember seeing a similar thing, complete with dimensions etc on one side of a piece of paper.

The other side had the device pictured with a dog in place.

I think it was called (Please don't shoot the messenger), an Irish dog carrier.


Posted by: joseph 1 (19012)

Why am I expecting a pencil sharpener comment?

Replied: 24th May 2013 at 20:23


Mester, I'll wager my left knacker that we have never met personally, but we certainly think alike.

It was 'Sir' Doddy who suggested that had the famous cat that Percy Shaw, the inventor of 'Cats eyes' encountered, had been going the other way, he'd have invented the pencil sharpener.

Replied: 25th May 2013 at 14:40

Posted by: jpaspull (159)

I thought I adopted my two cats I now know they adopted and trained me to see to their every whim. I let them sleep on my bed(they don't take as much room as a fella)I have a scratch post but Pudsie prefers to use the couch. Frodo (I named him after the one in lord of the rings)uses the scratch post It could be worse they could be using my legs.

Replied: 1st Jun 2013 at 01:34

Posted by: dustaf (inactive)

Evenin' Mache.

Replied: 5th Oct 2013 at 17:47

Posted by: mache (inactive)

DUH!

Replied: 5th Oct 2013 at 17:52

Posted by: veg grower (inactive)



Daft sod, I had it ready to resurrect an' all.

Replied: 5th Oct 2013 at 17:52
Last edited by veg grower: 5th Oct 2013 at 17:59:04

Posted by: dustaf (inactive)

Mache has been slipping lately.

One of my proudest WW moments, was that one.

Replied: 5th Oct 2013 at 17:56

Posted by: joseph 1 (inactive)

Just seen a dead kitten on my way through Charnock Richard.

Replied: 5th Oct 2013 at 17:59

Posted by: dustaf (inactive)

Awwww.

Was thinking about you, mester, when I read the WEP report about a dead pony which had been dumped.

They used the term 'knacker man'.

Oh, and I found a picture that could do as an iron hoof.

It's on another thread somewhere.

Replied: 5th Oct 2013 at 18:02

Posted by: joseph 1 (inactive)

I'm so glad you think of me when the knacker man comes up.

Replied: 5th Oct 2013 at 18:08

Posted by: dustaf (inactive)

Stagnation o t'lung always comes to mind.

And that donkey that flew upwards.

Not forgetting 'irons'

Replied: 5th Oct 2013 at 18:14

Posted by: joseph 1 (inactive)

That really is an iron.

Replied: 5th Oct 2013 at 18:51

Posted by: jo anne (34764) 

"Iron" ... as in a golf club used by a putting cat?

Replied: 5th Oct 2013 at 18:56

Posted by: joseph 1 (inactive)

Oh dear!

Replied: 5th Oct 2013 at 19:03

Posted by: tonker (28860) 

Replied: 5th Oct 2013 at 19:38

Posted by: dustaf (inactive)

Mester, it's really a 'bronze'.

I admitted cheating to find it on that marvellous smelly hippy-coat thread.

Replied: 5th Oct 2013 at 21:09

Posted by: joseph 1 (inactive)

I know the verdigris gave it away. But it served it's purpose.

Replied: 5th Oct 2013 at 21:27

Posted by: dustaf (inactive)

And it proved how good I am at googling.

Replied: 5th Oct 2013 at 21:28

Posted by: joseph 1 (inactive)

That too.

Replied: 5th Oct 2013 at 21:29

Posted by: dustaf (inactive)

I didn't really like to mention it.


As I remarked to my detractors in the past, it's knowing enough knowledge to know what to put into goggle.

(I just tried various metals )

Replied: 5th Oct 2013 at 21:40

 

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