Wigan Album

Blimey DTease, is there no limit to your talent. Many thanks old pal, that's loads better......err.....forgive me for asking.....You wouldn't be angling for promotion by any chance?

Capital, DTease, Capital. And definitely an Ash tree.

Not if it means joining G Doubleyolk in the smouldering remains of Tittibong Ozy.
Mind you, the thought of Fat Sheila in the Moody Cow is a considerable temptation.

Go down Mossy Lea fold ,Wrightington,and be transported to this spot.

I suspect he didn't really need a tandem by own.

DTease could you give Item 29758 a try please

Howard awaiting Marina?

Well actually DTease, it's an exciting new offshoot of the company they've named ' Pinkerpoo '. This once in a lifetime opportunity would involve lots of travel to various exotic locations, combined with......but then again..., if you aren't interested.......Regarding Doubleyolk by the way, we had a reported sighting of him recently. The report stated that he'd been spotted, up in the crow's nest, searching for eggs presumably, whilst bobbing about in the Sargasso Sea. Further investigation by the skipper of an Icelandic trawler with a faulty compass however, revealed that it was merely a 30 foot fibreglass replica of King Kong, floating on it's back with its outstretched hand in the air clutching a fibreglass Fay Wray. So our search for the ancient mariner continues.

Where's Ethel? Probably putting the tent up!
Smashing job on this picture Dtease.
I have already put this comment on the other photo but it hasn't come on!

I suspect GDoubleyolk has got friendly with 'Fat Sheila he'll need somebody to wash his socks and things!

Irene..I bet they've seen Compo, Cleggy and Foggy in the distance and she's hiding behind that tree.

DTease thank you, Alex.

Ozy, I don't like to mention this but given the recent lack of communication with GW I think I should let you know that shortly before he set sail I caught GW sneakily watching a video called 'Mutiny On The Bounty' starring Clark Gable and Charles Laughton. He kept re-winding and re-running the scene where the girls in grass skirts are dancing for the entertainment of the Mutineers. Later on, he asked me how long did I think it would take him to grow a little mustache.
You don't think that maybe he as accidentally on purpose made a short detour via the Hawaiian Islands do you?

Veronica, if you can't get your comments on after all this time perhaps you should stick to milking....
On second thoughts though, maybe not.

Ahoy there would be shipmates. Almost at Appley Bridge. The protruding "tinctures"on my Dtease dolls keep getting snagged. If Poets right i almost passed this area a day or two ago. Lot's of grass skirts but more to do with the economy than the weather.

Hail the conquering " Lonely Deckhand" back on English soil.
He sailed to Tittybong supposedly for some hard, weary toil-
Instead he fished and knocked coconuts off the trees
And danced the hula-hula in the soft island breeze!
I suggest all voyages to southern lands be suspended
As GDoubleyolk's antics - at all costs must be ended!

By order of 2nd Lord Admiral

Blimey Veronica, back on English soil?, Captain Birdseye never left English soil evidently. He's just been rattling around in that disused lock at Gathurst for nigh on a fortnight, suppin' grog, scoffin' hard tack and getting his tinctures snagged. Flippin' ' eck, talk about if you want a job doin'. And here's me, spending a fortune ringing Interpol every five minutes..... See! this is what happens when your first mate has a predeliction for tuning in to Andrew Marr and ironing her living room carpet, when she should be signing on...I'm not apportioning blame here, but what can I say?....I despair.....no, I really do.....Honestly. trust me, I do.

Mmmmm....so the "Tinctures" on them dolls keep getting snagged do they?Er.... Just as a matter of interest Ozy, how deep would you say the water is at Appley Bridge?

Ascertaining the depth of artificial channels doesn't really fall within the scope of my experience DTease, but having navigated that particular stretch of waterway, albeit several years ago, I ' suspect ' the depth of water in the shallower sections would be about ' average '. Don't be discouraged though,... for ' average ', just read ' adequate '.

Long before the days of Mungo Jerry and the push bike song, but I do believe Mr Jackson is playing his harmonica, perhaps a serenade to his peddling partner Mary Ethel? Good Job on the image enhancement DTease, I had previously presumed he was just lighting up another Woodbine.

I thought he was lighting a cigarette as well TD, but I believe you are right, he is playing the harmonica.

"Adequate" seems less than adequate to me Ozy. Could we not put "More than" in front of that?

Perhaps i should clarify DTease. "Less than" a protrusion but "more than" a barnacle.

Far too tranquil.What ever happened to the lolly stick in the spokes?

Well barnacle sounds fine to me GW, mighty fine actually. In fact, I'd be well pleased with barnacle. Ecstatic if I'm being honest.

Ozy, I'm very glad that you're happy with your barnacle, but would you be happy to have it described as "Average"?

An "average" fully grown barnacle is 6 inches DTease, now back to the bicycle photo while your ahead.

Ha yes GW but.....Ho never mind, I give in. Shouldn't you be paddling up Parbold Hill by now ?

Casting Update .
The cast so far.

Foggy / Seymour. Philip G
Albert. Truly
Ozy. Blamire , Wesley , Alvin. Discussions progressing on the suggestion there is a Clegg trying to get out.
Hobbo. GW / Tease Both have leanings, but concerns if either has the ability to bring Hobbo to life . Both to get auditions. There is talk of trying DTease as Barry . A few voices have said he is Billy .

Of course , these are just early soundings in the production. The priority of course is to find Compo first , then Nora Batty . The production team are confident , others will step forward to make their claim . The team are excited at the thought , who , for instance , is Howard and Marina? Wally?
Pearl? Hugs to all and looking forward to meeting you all personally on set when we shoot.

Ozy would be the expert at pedalling up Parbold Hill and introducing GDub to the comforts of the 'Convent' -a Retreat maybe! Toiling over the lawns and shopping!

Julie, shoot me now PLEASE!

Perfect casting Julie, especially Howard for ' wally '.

Taking into account the date of our photo Julie [ circa 1929 ] will it be a silent film or a "talkie".

Making good time today i left my ship anchored and headed to said convent, Veronica
Only to be met by a rowdy group of painted Amazonian women on a day trip from Liverpool and some backpackers from New Zealand. Obviously Ozy was a very BAD influence.

GW, only you would take painted ladies from Liverpool to the Convent for a day out. I hope you didn't tell them you were on a Mission for the Agency!

He probably convinced them that it was an audition for '" Last of the communion wine " DTease. You know how velvet tongued these old salt in the veined mariner types can be.

What's Torquay do to with anything?

Ozy, Veronica I received this report from G Doubleyolk today by carrier pigeon.
CAPTAIN'S LOG
These are the voyages of the good ship "Chocolate Bounty" a well-found raft of inflatable DTease dolls with barnacle protrusions.
HER MISSION; To boldly go where no other raft of inflatable DTease dolls with barnacle protrusions have ever been before.
HER CREW
CAPTAIN.....G Doubleyolk (When sober)
1st MATE....Veronica (Deserted on the first day)
PRESSED GANG.... Four painted ladies from Liverpool (Temporary)
11.00 AM Arose late due to the four painted ladies gaining access to the ships Communion wine yestereve and insisting that I join them for a small "drinkypoo"
12 noon As it was so late I decided we should have us dinner before setting sail (Baked beans washed down with the dregs of last nights wine)
01 PM Left port in good weather and a fair wind behind us, There followed a heated discussion as to who was responsible for the good wind behind us.It was finally agreed that the baked beans were the main culprit and we all shared the blame equally.
02 PM Seeing that the painted ladies from Liverpool were doing such a good job on the paddles I decided to retire to my quarters in the rear in order to do some very important Captaining thingies.
02.20 PM No sooner had I rolled my trouser legs up to my ivory knees and placed a knotted hankie on my head than there came a 'orrible crunching sound. It was big Bertha from Bootle letting us know that we were snagged by the barnacles again.
02.30 PM It was immediately obvious to me that someone would have to go over the side to lighten the load. Big Bertha was the obvious choice, but how to tell her? Fortunately, Bertha's bessy mate was Little Lucy, a tiny girl no bigger than her paddle. Quick as a flash I threw Little Lucy over the side and of course, Big Bertha jumped in after her. With less weight on board the "Chocolate Bounty" rose in the water and floated free. We retrieved Little Lucy but unfortunately, we couldn't drag Big Bertha aboard, so we threw her one of Ozy's Inner Tubes and went on our way.
04.00 PM Arrived at Burscough Bridge with the curses of Big Bertha still ringing in our ears.Such ingratitude! after all, we did throw her a rubber ring.
05.00 PM Getting dark now so we have decided to tie up here for the night and have us Chippy Tea. Sent Little Lucy off to the Chippy with a shopping trolley and a £5 note but no signs of her returning yet.
09.00 PM The remaining three painted ladies have been describing to me the kind of pain Big Bertha is capable of inflicting with just a length of inner tube rubber. Still no sign of Little Lucy and my £5 note and we are all tired, cold and starving. Must get away early tomorrow before Big Bertha catches up with us.
10.00 PM And so to bed.

It's just a pity you weren't a scriptwriter for channel 4 DTease, then there might be something on telly worth watching. Budge over Ben Elton et al.

Well that puts paid to "Last of The Summer Wine". More like "The Onedin Line" and where's G Doubleyoke when he's needed I pray? I did warn that his antics be stopped at all costs! And where's my honey and my money?

Veronica, your £5 note was last seen heading for the Chippy in Burscough Bridge clutched in the sweaty hand of Little Lucy.