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Ashton

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The Colliers Arms. Warrington road Ashton.
The Colliers Arms. Warrington road Ashton.
Photo: . Ozymandias .
Views: 3,682
Item #: 29745
A representation of the Dull Pick in oils, by the wife one of the regular customers, who's name eludes me at the moment.

Photograph courtesy of Christine and Billy Gough.

Comment by: Philip Gormley. on 22nd September 2017 at 17:15

A very good oil-painting, Ozy. The artist has made every effort; and nice to see 'white' being given a bit of colour, as well. Thanks.

Comment by: Howard P on 22nd September 2017 at 18:37

I suspect it's a painting.

Comment by: Veronica on 22nd September 2017 at 19:30

So it was just an end house turned into a pub!!! No wonder there was no room to swing a cat! It must hold the record for the smallest ale house!
Was this where The Rat Pack put forward all the plans for the Pinkerton Agency?

Comment by: . Ozymandias . on 22nd September 2017 at 19:49

I ' suspect ' we may have found the perfect candidate for the vacant Tittybong posting DTease.

Comment by: DTease on 22nd September 2017 at 22:12

There's room for two in the boat Ozy. They could share the rations. One Mars Bar between two is not a bad daily ration.

Comment by: . Ozymandias . on 22nd September 2017 at 22:39

I ' suspect ' GW would throw himself overboard long before they reached the Dee estuary actually DTease. Personally, I doubt if I'd make it as far as the Mersey bar. I ' suspect '........No, sending them together just isn't a viable proposition. Any other suggestions?

Comment by: GW. on 23rd September 2017 at 09:10

Mmmmmmm. Now you've got me thinking. I didn't know a Mars Bar was part of my workplace contract. I suspect that landlubber Howard will be to busy fighting commercial pirates off the coast of Somalia to worry about his half. By the way, is it just me or could one have some fun with the name of this pub?

Comment by: Philip Gormley. on 23rd September 2017 at 11:18

GW: I don't think DTease would show any hesitation at all about taking passage to 'Oz', should he realise that the Calabash also flourishes on Tasmania; he'd be the first to step onboard. You could advise him to bring along his own 'baccy', and Persian Slipper, though.

Comment by: DTease on 23rd September 2017 at 14:40

Dear Ozy, having given further consideration to the situation I have come to the conclusion that our Australian plan will not give us the outcome we are desirous of. After all, it is more than likely that the all-pervading Cell Phone as already reached GW's Tittybong relations which means that you, as head of the Agency will be inundated with desperate daily pleas for repatriation.
What we need is somewhere closer to home where we can keep an arm's length eye on the situation (so to speak).
With this in mind I would ask you to consider, where do we put people in this country that we wish to keep from public view?
The answer is obvious of course, We put them in the Civil Service!
I read recently that the Government intends to open an inquiry into "The Safety of Treadmills in Guinea Pig Cages Act (Amended 1905)". If we can lease out our two erstwhile investigators to the Inquiry they would, no doubt end up in a dusty old broom cupboard somewhere in Westminster until the Inquiry reports to the Government in twenty or thirty years time.
This plan has the added advantage that the Agency could claim a percentage of their income for all that time and, who knows? Given the way our country works they could both end up in The House of Lords! The Agency could then claim a share of their expenses.
I eagerly await your thoughts on this plan.

Regards DTease.

Comment by: DTease on 23rd September 2017 at 14:43

GW, I could lend you a letter 'r' if it would help?

Comment by: Veronica on 23rd September 2017 at 16:18

I wouldn't mind going to 'Breastbong' for a holiday if there is a boat still going. I don't mind going alone either, and I wouldn't mind the renumeration but would forego the Mars Bars! Thankyou very much.

Comment by: . Ozymandias . on 23rd September 2017 at 18:05

Hang on lads, I just need to get something straight here, are we looking to rename the pub, or the agency's new recruit ?, ' cos if it's the new recruit were talking about, then I feel a letter ' r ' would fit the bill admirably.

Comment by: Julie on 23rd September 2017 at 18:21

What language is this ? Drivel, Gobbledygook, Last Of the Summer Wine, or The Man from Uncle? Or ....no that would be unfair..

Comment by: . Ozymandias . on 23rd September 2017 at 18:45

I'm afraid the Tittybong venture is temporarily in abeyance Veronica pending the outcome of the industrial action currently taking place at Ryanair. However, the forward thinking team at the agency have already invested in a shedload of empty plastic 45 gallon drums and several used plasterboard pallets, and I'm off to the car boot sale at Hindley tomorrow to attempt to procure a few affordable rolls of duct tape. As soon as the raft is complete, we will be advertising for crew members and cabin staff. So I'll keep your details on file for the time being, and the moment Pinkerferries is up and running, you will be contacted by a member of the team.

Regards. Ozy.

Comment by: DTease on 23rd September 2017 at 19:31

Veronica, you'll be the death of me. My heads now full of 'breastbong' jokes, none of which I can possibly put on here!

Comment by: Veronica on 23rd September 2017 at 19:47

Just trying to bring a little 'class' to the proceedings Dtease! Not everyone possesses a sense of humour don't you know!

Comment by: Julie on 23rd September 2017 at 21:46

Cliques are the worst thing in any forum .

Comment by: Veronica on 23rd September 2017 at 22:10

I don't see anyone barred Julie least of all yourself!

Comment by: . Ozymandias . on 23rd September 2017 at 22:20

In my view, the worst thing in any forum is an absence of material.

Comment by: Veronica on 24th September 2017 at 08:49

There is room on the boat Julie if you like to 'float your own boat' or if you are on the 'same wavelength' so come and make a splash everyone is welcome. Anyway there might be a good beach at -----Bong for topping up tans! Personally I think The Dull Pick would have made a good chip shop!

Comment by: GW. on 24th September 2017 at 21:53

Dtease. You'll get us in trouble. (I was thinking of a Fawlty Towers tribute by swapping some signage around, lets start with the D and the P. )

Comment by: Veronica on 25th September 2017 at 16:00

Dept of Work and Pensions suit you GeeDubya? Or Dead Pub!

Comment by: Robert on 29th September 2017 at 09:35

Veronica, if it interests you, the smallest pub in Britain is actually at Southport.
It is called The Lakeside Inn & is on the on the Promenade PR9 OEA
Hope this helps....best wishes bob

Comment by: Veronica on 29th September 2017 at 10:34

Thanks Robert for the info- I have actually been in there once a few years ago. I thought it was a bit like a 'Tardis' inside because there were quite a few customers inside but you are right.

Comment by: Kenee on 30th September 2017 at 11:59

Are those double yellow lines denoting
'No Parking outside my front door'?

I only visited this pub on a few occasions in the winter of 1970 when I worked in Haydock. I remember it being very cosy with a big roaring fire. It was referred to as 'The Colliers' then, I never heard the term 'Dull Pick' (or dull anything else for that matter).

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