Wigan Album

What a follow-up DTease! Shades of Conan Doyle's 'The Adventure of The Priory School', too.

I Think you are wrong DTease, the wall is exactly like the one in the photo, the stepped wall you are referring to belongs to the houses prior to the school, look a little further into the photo. The doorway on the corner of Cale Lane is very similar to the one in the previous photo. This particular pic was taken long after the tram tracks were removed showing a good road surface, perhaps 1950-60s.

DTease: It's Cale Lane, sure enough - it approaches Wigan Road from an acute angle. The white pyramid cap stone being the first/last in the series of six or seven that can be seen on the previous photo.

Great bit of sleuthing Dtease. [or should i call you ...Clouseau.] In addition to your findings this also links into my theory that this was the actual spot in the road that the chicken crossed.[ Just before being run down by his mistress's jealous husband in the milk cart ] When you call into the office don't worry about the gun in Ozy's "envelope". He's just happy to see you.

For clarity I should explain that my comment is in answer to a comment by GW on item #29733 where he asked if that photo could be of Ormskirk Rd looking east.

Was that TRex that crossed the road - that will explain why they became extinct then! Going back to the picture it ties in very well- I pass this way on the 715 and it looks very familiar. I just hope the men weren't waiting for it as it's always late!

Extinct??...not if they laid an egg beforehand according to Poets Darwinian principles Veronica. That's it Ozy. No more chicken cases for this Pinkerton agent. How about i try to solve a"film noir"type crime whodunnit featuring lots of lorries and heavy haulage equipment?

So you'd prefer a little more cluck and dagger work, is that it GW? I can empathise with that, as I know from eggsperience that it's no yolk tramping around the badlands of Bolton in fowl weather, trying to pinpoint the former location of non eggsistant hen cotes. In fact it can be quite eggshausting. Even for a hard boiled Pinkerton's agent, it's hardly ever over easy.

Keep your sunny side up GW.

Eggxactly Dtease, and that should read eggxtinct Veronica. Have a "cracking" day all.

DTease: "Keep your sunny side up"; a sound piece of encouragement from your good self. And if G.W. finally decides to flutter off into the seedy world of crime detection (wattle he think of next?), then he would serve the agency particularly well by first searching every stook and cranny for Rhode Island Red, who is reported to have taken flight with a Swiss Fancy.

Philip. If Geedoubleya goes ahead with his peckuliar decision to take a sidestep in his career with the Agency, will Ozy be prepared to shell out for the necessary re-training?

Blimey O'reilly DTease, I don't lay golden eggs y'know....You lot must think I'm made of blimmin' beer tokens. Do you think I photocopy 'em down at the post office or what?...No, I'm afraid if Geedoubleyolk wants to elevate his status to Grade A within the agency, he'll just have to either crack open his piggy bank or soldier on. We're in the middle of a recession don't y'know?

DTease: As generous as Ozy is, his insight would be the deciding factor. He knows that G.W. is a proud child of woodland floor, with a preference for a free run, and as such, would probably choose to give G.W. a generous and tearful bon voyage - allowing him to have his head if you like. I also like 'sidestep', by the way.

Anyway GeeDubya will need a long gaberdine mac and trilby aka Bogey in the 'Big Sleep"!!

I've just had a ' light bulb moment ' DTease. You're aware that the agency is currently looking for someone to run the Australian operation from it's office in Tittybong, Victoria.? Well, given GW's well established antipodean connections, plus his thirst for a life a little less mundane, I would suggest we put his name forward for consideration.
Tittybong's a bit of a remote outpost I'll admit, but he won't be on his own out there, as he'll have a couple of ' Shielas ' under him for most of the time.
Clothingwise, well, I have a pair of shorts that used to belong to Don Estelle that he can have for starters, plus my uncle Norman's string vest, and also a genuine rooskin hat that I bought at a church jumble sale and never got round to wearing. It's quite similar to the one that the ' bush tucker ' man used to wear except that it looks a lot dafter. So that's the lad kitted out.
His first mission ( should he choose to accept it ), would be to track down and bring to justice, the joker that named the place....What do you reckon?

"Tittybong"...that was my mum's maiden name Ozy. "Sheila Tittybong".

Judging by the comments I would say

Phillip, Not Knightbridge or indeed Kensington. Cotswolds maybe , a very nice well kept cottage with history, Likes a well cooked pie but a relax in his chair better , even though he doesn't know it . Never without a tie in appropriate areas . Breeding makes him polite always .. courtesy is always his measure .

DTease. Southall maybe, but this guy can run? Interesting! The guy who got away . Hugely popular with women , due to his personal and financial credentials . Has homes not in the Costas but places like Cuba and Bolivia, Often seen on million pound boats with a gaggle of women around him, then returns to a semi. His wife left him years ago, his dog also.

GW Not sure yet , very likely to hold gold ,in vast quantities somewhere ,
so will have holdings where there is sun. A good fried of DTease , often seen on the same highly expensive boats in small coves like Monte Carlo and the South of France. Prefers , crab to lobsters.




Ozy , Richmond , Surrey, Easy!

Just a bit of fun guys , no offence intended.

Sounds like a bonzer plan to me Ozy, although I suggest that we don't inform him of his actual destination until he is on the plane with his seat belt on and the door ready for closing.
As far as clothing is concerned you seem to have the situation well in hand. One thing missing though is the corks for hanging around your Rooskin hat. However, me being a generous sort of cove I will make the sacrifice and force myself to empty a few bottles of wine thus providing the necessary items.
One other item we should provide our doughty detective with is a large Water Bottle. After all we don't want him to end up in the Outback looking "Drier than a dead Dingo's donger" do we?
Regards DTease

P.S. You wouldn't like to help me dispose of a few bottles of Antipodian Plonk would you?

Well, I suppose Richmond's a step up from Peckham at least Julie. No offence taken my dear, and none intended to the good people of Peckham incidentally.

Regards. Ozy.

Julie, if you care to take a trip down to Wigan Pier you will see my boat tied up outside the Orwell Public House.
I am told that it once hung on a nail at the back of Ozy's garage. He acquired it because of fears that climate change would cover his home with a deluge. However, since then Donald Trump as convinced him that there is no such thing as Climate Change. As a result Ozy put the boat up for auction and I got it for a song. I believe it was 'I am Sailing' by Rod Stuart.
Drop in any time Julie and we'll partake of a small tincture before I show you round the boat.

I was beginning to think you'd never ask DTease. Mind you, I get the impression that there won't be much Barossa Valley Shiraz left by the time I get round there.
Now regarding the boat......well, how can I put this?......now DTease, how on earth was I expected to know that you intended to live on the damn thing?......I find this a bit awkward, and I don't wish to appear mean,......it's just that plane tickets are so expensive and I had it in mind....well, let me say, I was prepared to take the boat on the roof rack to Blundell Sands....Now that would have given him a head start straight away. The builders left a couple of short lengths of scaffolding pole in the garden, and I thought if I welded a couple of dustbin lids to the ends,... well,.... he'd probably make it to Sydney in record time. Before Christmas most likely if he puts his back into it. In the meantime, you could always crash at my place. It's flat 84b, Nelson Mandela House, Rue de la morgue, Peckham. Don't bother ringing the doorbell, as I cut the wires to save on batteries, just throw a half brick through the window like everyone else.

Respect. Ozy.

But I bet you have chandeliers in there Ozy and the lights for signalling the planes into landing!!! It's a good spot for Heathrow - you must be well paid as part of the staff.

Ps I think you lot are more like 'The Rat Pack' concocting your crazy schemes! Who's being Dean Martin why DTease surely! That leaves Ol'Blue Eyes, Sammy Davis Jr and Peter Lawford .... Take your pick! Must be able to tap dance and sing and crack jokes!

Ozy, we haven't heard much from GW about this. Do you think that he isn't as enthusiastic about our plan as we may have hoped?
It is, after all a fantastic offer, free travel, free uniform, generous remuneration (well fairly generous).
I would find it hard to believe Ozy but do you think it's remotely possible that he has received a better offer from the opposition?

Veronica, I tried serenading the Missis with a few Dean Martin Songs. She reckoned that it was more akin to Jerry Lewis than Dean
My favourite Dean Martin song....

I'm praying for rain in California
So the grapes can grow and they can make more wine.

This all ties in with the Tittybong family tree you lot. Leaving on a boat from Wigan pier with free remunerations, uniforms,travel expenses and even affordable housing thrown in. A travel package to Van Deimens Land and all at His Majesty's Pleasure. [ perhaps the "Tittybong's" , a once well established Wigan family had royal connections?] PS, Watch out for Dteases "small tincture" Julie.

Leaving Tittybong aside for just a moment GW, your comment has set me thinking. To quote Julie, " Hugely popular with women, due to his personal and financial credentials."......it's these ' personal ' credentials that I'm curious about. By his own admission, DTease wife likens the man to that well known historical figure, novelist and leader of the peasants' revolt ' Wat the Dickens ' whilst at the same time comparing his vocal abilities to those of Jerry Lewis, so I'm perplexed. You don't suppose this small tincture of his could form part of his portfolio of ' personal credentials ' by any chance do you?, as I'm sure there must be many women who find a small tincture irresistible.

There's nothing wrong with my tincture I'll have you know.I'll stand my tincture up for comparison against anybody.

DTease: A noble challenge from your good self, sir. You are an upstanding mariner, sole survivor, and with the tenacity to weather the storm. May we call you Ishmael, please?.

The gentleman doth protest too much, methinks...What thinkest thou GW?

Crickey Ozy. At first i thought he was blowing his flamin' trumpet about how much grog he can swill with the sheila's but maybe he's on about the length of his fishing tackle or the how big a compass he's got on his boat???

GW, I have one of those fishing rods that reach all the way across the canal.

With regard to these ' vast gold holdings ' of yours GW, they wouldn't be similar in nature to the gold holdings that a certain Mr Beckham is reputed to be endowed with would they? And this preference of yours for crabs over lobsters. I can't really judge, as, as far as I can recall I've never had lobsters, although I did have crabs once.

Boom Boom folks. My skills were once comparable to Mr Beckham Ozy but i'm sure he's kicked a lot more goals. I've a compass that could have saved the Titanic, Dtease but it will only point South these days.

GW, south is all you need unless you're planning on coming back?

I don't know when St John's primary school was demolished, but nearby are Holy Family and St John's churches. Canon Sharples who only had one arm, was the former Headmaster of the Deanery High School who was ordained a vicar, and St John's was his church.

My family moved to Wigan from Liverpool in 1968, we moved into the new bungalows (Milford Road). I went to Holiday Family school and remember one day in school my teacher gave me a tub wrapped in brown paper full of safety pins and was addressed to Mother Teresa, Calcutta India. The Teacher gave me money to go to the shop, which you can see in the corner right of the picture (I think it was a chemist shop/post office) and buy a stamp for the tub of safety pins. Can you imagine what would have happened if that was to happen today! The teacher would have been sacked….